Monday, December 15, 2008

Monday Mythbuster: Perfection

I chose to have all these children so I have to be on top of things 100% of the time or everyone will tell me I shouldn't have so many children and I will feel hugely guilty and my children will grow up scarred for life and.......well, you get the picture.

Another myth we (or at least I) tell ourselves. The thing is, it is a myth. Yes, there are some people who go for the "well, if you can't cope perhaps you shouldn't have so many children" line, but the vast majority don't. In fact, I have known quite a few people who, when I admitted I was struggling, breathed a sigh of relief because I looked a bit more human! Cultivating the myth that we are 100% OK all the time places additional pressure on others to live up to an impossible standard. I DON'T agree with wallowing in our imperfections and taking part in the "Mummy Wars" (you know, when you sit by the playground watching the kids and someone says "Well I only got 3 hours sleep last night" then another pipes up "you are doing better than me, I got 1 hour if I'm lucky" and so on until everyone is running on negative hours sleep with obnoxious children and unhelpful husbands!!) But I do believe in being honest, asking for help or advice and doing the best we can with what we have.

As for the children growing up scarred, well, they have to have SOMETHING to talk about in therapy don't they? :P If they don't have your failings to talk about, well, they will just have to talk about the impossible standards you set!

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