Why on earth did I move from a big, four-bedroom-with-a-massive-sleep-out-walk-in-pantry-kitchen-you-could-turn-cartwheels-in house
to a
three-bedroom-but-only-two-with-internal-walls-pint-sized-living-area-with-a-kitchen-that-would-fit-in-a-caravan house?
WITH our fourth baby on the way.
I know the answers to this question, and they are many, but the biggest one is this:
I asked God to make me a better housekeeper.
I did it, nobody else, it wasn't imposed on me, I voluntarily prayed that God would teach me to keep house better. You think I would have learned, the last time I asked God to teach me to have a quiet voice with the kids, I woke up with laryngitis! True story, you gotta love an All Powerful Deity with a quirky sense of humor!
So He bought me here, where I HAVE to deal with the mess because I can't get away from it! Where I HAVE to put all my lovely homemaking theories into practise CONSISTENTLY. And, kicking and screaming, wailing and gnashing my teeth, I have been slowly getting the hang of it. I am not saying I HAVE the hang of it yet, there are a lifetime of bad habits and my inner-toddler that screams "I DON'T WANNA" every time I go to clean, but I am GETTING the hang of it.
In spite of me, He answers my prayers.
What a good and merciful God He is, praise Him!
Praise Him in the midst of nappies and dust, Praise Him when the crawler eats something she shouldn't, Praise Him when I have to don protective clothing before entering the kitchen, Praise Him when visitors arrive and it looks like a bomb has exploded around me while I am making Googly Alien Eyes in the middle of the loungeroom with the kids.
Praise Him, because He is Changing Me.
Little by little, every day, little by little in every way, Jesus is Changing Me.
Showing posts with label How Do You Do It?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How Do You Do It?. Show all posts
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
A new way to teach skip counting
I started teaching Erin to count by twos today.
I softly counted then kissed her ear every time we got to an even number and she would shout the even number.
We call it "Kiss Counting"!
"Squeeze Counting" also works but "tickle counting" is not so successful, it is hard to shout numbers when you are lying on the floor giggling!
I softly counted then kissed her ear every time we got to an even number and she would shout the even number.
We call it "Kiss Counting"!
"Squeeze Counting" also works but "tickle counting" is not so successful, it is hard to shout numbers when you are lying on the floor giggling!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Multi tasking
How to teach botany, biology, math and economics while gardening organically and hanging out the washing.
Step 1. Get two enterprising children
step 2. Arm them with a small bucket of salt water each.
Step 3. Tell them they will get one cent for each snail they collect.
Step 4. Watch them while they collect snails, pointing out likely hiding places and things that the snails have been eating.
Step 5. Count their snails with them about 80 times before they decide they have enough.
Step 6. Count the snails (again) and pay the agreed amount.
Step 7. Dispose of snails and take children to the shop to spend some money!
Step 8. Help them put the change in their money boxes
Step 9. Watch them enjoy the fruits of their labour!
Step 10. Give yourself a pat on the back and go and blog about it.
I love lazy, sunny Sundays
Step 1. Get two enterprising children
step 2. Arm them with a small bucket of salt water each.
Step 3. Tell them they will get one cent for each snail they collect.
Step 4. Watch them while they collect snails, pointing out likely hiding places and things that the snails have been eating.
Step 5. Count their snails with them about 80 times before they decide they have enough.
Step 6. Count the snails (again) and pay the agreed amount.
Step 7. Dispose of snails and take children to the shop to spend some money!
Step 8. Help them put the change in their money boxes
Step 9. Watch them enjoy the fruits of their labour!
Step 10. Give yourself a pat on the back and go and blog about it.
I love lazy, sunny Sundays
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Top Ten Tips for Family Worship with Preschoolers and Toddlers
1. Use the KISSS principle – Keep it Short and Simple, Sweetheart! One song and a prayer done well has far more impact than a twenty minute session which leaves everyone in tears – including Mum!
2. Keep things predictable. Have worship at a fairly predictable time. After breakfast works for us, everyone is awake and fed and linking it to a feed time means we don’t forget. We don’t forget to eat very often in this house! Also if little ones know what to expect, they will be more likely to cooperate.
3. Have REALISTIC expectations. You are not going to have the Von Trapp family singing harmony in your lounge room. Expect there to be disasterous days. Expect to be singing solo for the first year or two of worship (I did!). Expect to have to teach your children how to behave during worship. Then you are less likely to be disappointed!
4. Realise that teaching and training your children is in and of itself an act of worship. It is hard to feel worshipful when you have to stop “Jesus Loves Me” ten times to administer correction, but correcting and teaching your children IS an act of worship.
5. Stick with it. If you are having worship as a part of the rhythm of your home, it is because it is important to you. Focus on the long term, the ETERNAL, benefits of family worship. It makes it easier to start family worship yet again when it resulted in tears the previous five times.
6. Personalise it to suit your family. At the moment, we have one song each, our pre-prayers songs, family prayer and The Lord’s Prayer. Totally different to what we did last year and I dare say it will change again next year. Do what works, and if it doesn’t work, change it.
7. Have clear expectations. Before worship starts, tell the kids what you want them to do with their hands, feet, eyes, mouth etc. Before prayer time, Say SPECIFICALLY what you want them to do with their hands, feet, eyes, mouth etc. Eventually, get THEM to tell YOU and their other siblings what the expectations are (firstborns especially love this in my experience!) then when those things are NOT done, it is clear defiance and it can be dealt with in the way your family deals with defiance. There will be no space for argument or compromise and kids respond to clear boundaries.
8. Include them in choosing songs. This gives a feeling of ownership. At the moment I could quite cheerfully NEVER sing “The Wise Man Built His House Upon A Rock” OR “Whose the King of the Jungle” but we sing them every day because the boys love them.
9. Don’t expect to see fruit straight away. My kids still go mute during worship, then the other week while he was wandering around the back yard Billy belts out “How Great Thou Art” at the top of his lungs. It gets written on their hearts, even if you can’t see it.
10. Make A Joyful Noise! Find a reason to laugh during worship. “I have fingers that tickle, tickle, tickle” is a verse of our pre-prayer song and it always makes us laugh. You can take a moment to tell the kids one reason you are thankful for them, one thing that makes them special. Whatever it is, make worship a pleasure, not a chore!
2. Keep things predictable. Have worship at a fairly predictable time. After breakfast works for us, everyone is awake and fed and linking it to a feed time means we don’t forget. We don’t forget to eat very often in this house! Also if little ones know what to expect, they will be more likely to cooperate.
3. Have REALISTIC expectations. You are not going to have the Von Trapp family singing harmony in your lounge room. Expect there to be disasterous days. Expect to be singing solo for the first year or two of worship (I did!). Expect to have to teach your children how to behave during worship. Then you are less likely to be disappointed!
4. Realise that teaching and training your children is in and of itself an act of worship. It is hard to feel worshipful when you have to stop “Jesus Loves Me” ten times to administer correction, but correcting and teaching your children IS an act of worship.
5. Stick with it. If you are having worship as a part of the rhythm of your home, it is because it is important to you. Focus on the long term, the ETERNAL, benefits of family worship. It makes it easier to start family worship yet again when it resulted in tears the previous five times.
6. Personalise it to suit your family. At the moment, we have one song each, our pre-prayers songs, family prayer and The Lord’s Prayer. Totally different to what we did last year and I dare say it will change again next year. Do what works, and if it doesn’t work, change it.
7. Have clear expectations. Before worship starts, tell the kids what you want them to do with their hands, feet, eyes, mouth etc. Before prayer time, Say SPECIFICALLY what you want them to do with their hands, feet, eyes, mouth etc. Eventually, get THEM to tell YOU and their other siblings what the expectations are (firstborns especially love this in my experience!) then when those things are NOT done, it is clear defiance and it can be dealt with in the way your family deals with defiance. There will be no space for argument or compromise and kids respond to clear boundaries.
8. Include them in choosing songs. This gives a feeling of ownership. At the moment I could quite cheerfully NEVER sing “The Wise Man Built His House Upon A Rock” OR “Whose the King of the Jungle” but we sing them every day because the boys love them.
9. Don’t expect to see fruit straight away. My kids still go mute during worship, then the other week while he was wandering around the back yard Billy belts out “How Great Thou Art” at the top of his lungs. It gets written on their hearts, even if you can’t see it.
10. Make A Joyful Noise! Find a reason to laugh during worship. “I have fingers that tickle, tickle, tickle” is a verse of our pre-prayer song and it always makes us laugh. You can take a moment to tell the kids one reason you are thankful for them, one thing that makes them special. Whatever it is, make worship a pleasure, not a chore!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Our new organising systems
Beloved has been away this weekend finishing up the roof rack for the 4wd in his father's shed in Smithton. We need it for our trip to the mainland in October. We miss him terribly!
In his absence I have been filling (overfilling?) my free time with an uber-organising session, getting school tweaked and household chores streamlined. I have created a new system for our jobs with a laminated page stuck up each day with the name and themes of each day.
Our "themes" are as follows:
Sunday: Gardening, building and outdoor work
Monday: Laundry and art
Tuesday: Office work (budget updates etc) and crafts
Wednesday: Errands and poetry
Thursday: Cleaning and Nature
Friday: Cooking and Music
Saturday: Rest and Worship
and BOY, am I ready for that by Friday night!
Why have I created our "theme days"? To break it down and release the pressure AND keep me focused. If I find a FANTASTIC craft that I want to do with the kids, I can schedule it on a coming Tuesday (this week, we're making foot and hand prints for Daddy to have on Father's Day!) rather than
(a) INTENDING to do it and never getting around too it, feeling all the maternal guilt involved in that equation OR
(b) sitting in the middle of COMPLETE chaos finger painting with the kids, having a rollicking good time and - no dinner, late bedtimes, no clean underwear and a paint covered obstacle course in the lounge room.
Big honest moment, the second one is me inside and out! Someone asked me once how I find time for schooling amidst all the housework and taking care of babies. I said, that's easy! It is finding time for HOUSEWORK amid all the schooling and babies I find hard!
On our "day of the week" posters I have a bunch of adhesive velcro dots. I also have a set of envelopes with "Jobs" in them, small cards (about two inches square I guess) with a job on each one. As we do the jobs, we take them off the poster and put them on the envelope. When someone asks if they can do a job for me, I can just look at the poster and give them one. At the end of the job, THEY get to take the card down. It also means I will not get to the end of the day completely forgetting some essential task, it helps me keep focused and on track - something I struggle with! It is also better than assigning a job list for each of the kids at this stage. With such young ones, we need more of an "all in together" system where I can assign jobs according to attention spans and energy, which can vary each day. They also need to work along side me most of the time.
I also have a laminated "ZONE" poster for each of the four "ZONES" in my house, together will a bunch of little jobs that need to be done in that particular area. For example, our current "ZONE" is the bedrooms. I remember that because it is up on my cupboard. I glanced at it this morning and remembered that I wanted to flip the mattresses this week which I did as I changed the sheets. Now, some people keep things like this in their head. I don't. I need visual aids people!
None of this is terribly new to us, most of it was in our household organiser but there are days when I don't open it, or days where I need my reminders to be more flexible. This is working for us at the moment anyway.
A big discovery today was I don't always have time for everything on my list! Here I was just assuming it was because I was lazy and got sidetracked all the time. I remember today. I DON'T remember sitting down. I DON'T remember getting sidetracked. I HAVEN'T gotten everything on the list done. But I did get the important things done and I know tomorrow is a new day. At the end of the day, if I prayed with my kids, if I sang with my kids, if I read to my kids (we read the second chapter of 101 Dalmatians!) and nobody is stuck to the floor or suffering from typhoid, all the rest is details!
Now this sounds horribly chaotic and complex, but it is a system that has been many years in the making and is continually evolving and being tweaked. If anyone has a specific question, I would be happy to try and answer it. Blogs and websites have given me insight into how others organise their time and homes and have helped me greatly.
In his absence I have been filling (overfilling?) my free time with an uber-organising session, getting school tweaked and household chores streamlined. I have created a new system for our jobs with a laminated page stuck up each day with the name and themes of each day.
Our "themes" are as follows:
Sunday: Gardening, building and outdoor work
Monday: Laundry and art
Tuesday: Office work (budget updates etc) and crafts
Wednesday: Errands and poetry
Thursday: Cleaning and Nature
Friday: Cooking and Music
Saturday: Rest and Worship
and BOY, am I ready for that by Friday night!
Why have I created our "theme days"? To break it down and release the pressure AND keep me focused. If I find a FANTASTIC craft that I want to do with the kids, I can schedule it on a coming Tuesday (this week, we're making foot and hand prints for Daddy to have on Father's Day!) rather than
(a) INTENDING to do it and never getting around too it, feeling all the maternal guilt involved in that equation OR
(b) sitting in the middle of COMPLETE chaos finger painting with the kids, having a rollicking good time and - no dinner, late bedtimes, no clean underwear and a paint covered obstacle course in the lounge room.
Big honest moment, the second one is me inside and out! Someone asked me once how I find time for schooling amidst all the housework and taking care of babies. I said, that's easy! It is finding time for HOUSEWORK amid all the schooling and babies I find hard!
On our "day of the week" posters I have a bunch of adhesive velcro dots. I also have a set of envelopes with "Jobs" in them, small cards (about two inches square I guess) with a job on each one. As we do the jobs, we take them off the poster and put them on the envelope. When someone asks if they can do a job for me, I can just look at the poster and give them one. At the end of the job, THEY get to take the card down. It also means I will not get to the end of the day completely forgetting some essential task, it helps me keep focused and on track - something I struggle with! It is also better than assigning a job list for each of the kids at this stage. With such young ones, we need more of an "all in together" system where I can assign jobs according to attention spans and energy, which can vary each day. They also need to work along side me most of the time.
I also have a laminated "ZONE" poster for each of the four "ZONES" in my house, together will a bunch of little jobs that need to be done in that particular area. For example, our current "ZONE" is the bedrooms. I remember that because it is up on my cupboard. I glanced at it this morning and remembered that I wanted to flip the mattresses this week which I did as I changed the sheets. Now, some people keep things like this in their head. I don't. I need visual aids people!
None of this is terribly new to us, most of it was in our household organiser but there are days when I don't open it, or days where I need my reminders to be more flexible. This is working for us at the moment anyway.
A big discovery today was I don't always have time for everything on my list! Here I was just assuming it was because I was lazy and got sidetracked all the time. I remember today. I DON'T remember sitting down. I DON'T remember getting sidetracked. I HAVEN'T gotten everything on the list done. But I did get the important things done and I know tomorrow is a new day. At the end of the day, if I prayed with my kids, if I sang with my kids, if I read to my kids (we read the second chapter of 101 Dalmatians!) and nobody is stuck to the floor or suffering from typhoid, all the rest is details!
Now this sounds horribly chaotic and complex, but it is a system that has been many years in the making and is continually evolving and being tweaked. If anyone has a specific question, I would be happy to try and answer it. Blogs and websites have given me insight into how others organise their time and homes and have helped me greatly.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Workboxes
I have been investigating and tweaking a workbox system for our family home school and so far it has been a real positive move. I will go into it more another time (when we are a little more "tweaked") but here are a few workbox links that I found helpful.
http://docs.google.com/View?docID=dwstdgn_447mphsmf8&revision=_latest
http://homeschoolcreations.blogspot.com/2009/08/workbox-system-sue-patrick.html
http://www.preschoolersandpeace.com/?p=963
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LittleMen/688420/
http://kerugma.net/homeschool-index-cards-157.htm
http://myfamilyliferocks.blogspot.com/search/label/workboxes
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LeslieNelsen/662628/
http://www.enduringprize.com/search/label/Workboxes
For me I wanted an organisational system that more or less runs itself through the days and fits around the various mini-crises that seem to crop up in our house. I also wanted something that would work for toddlers right through to high school if I needed it too. This may or may not be a fit, it is worth checking out though.
http://docs.google.com/View?docID=dwstdgn_447mphsmf8&revision=_latest
http://homeschoolcreations.blogspot.com/2009/08/workbox-system-sue-patrick.html
http://www.preschoolersandpeace.com/?p=963
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LittleMen/688420/
http://kerugma.net/homeschool-index-cards-157.htm
http://myfamilyliferocks.blogspot.com/search/label/workboxes
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/LeslieNelsen/662628/
http://www.enduringprize.com/search/label/Workboxes
For me I wanted an organisational system that more or less runs itself through the days and fits around the various mini-crises that seem to crop up in our house. I also wanted something that would work for toddlers right through to high school if I needed it too. This may or may not be a fit, it is worth checking out though.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
How to make your living area sparkle-arkle!
In Five Simple Steps
Step 1: send older two children away as a special treat with Daddy to visit overnight with Nanny and Poppy.
Step 2: put two younger children to bed for their afternoon nap
Step 3: Eat a whole block of DARK chocolate with bits of raspberry through it while you surf the 'net and otherwise procrastinate. You may feel slightly queazy toward the end of the block, but persevere. Reason that Beloved doesn't LIKE raspberries so it would be downright CRUEL to leave it and eat it in front of him.
Step 4: Get a sugar buzz/caffene high LIKE NO OTHER YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED and clean everything in sight including the two younger children who have now woken up from their naps.
Step 5: By the time you have finished step 4 you will have fed and put the children in bed again as it will take a few hours, even totally buzzed. Wonder as you put your breastfed infant to bed why she is so chirpy and wide awake at bed time. Look around at a job well done and push aside the niggling temptation to go and get another block so you can get the kitchen/dining/bathroom area done too.
Step 1: send older two children away as a special treat with Daddy to visit overnight with Nanny and Poppy.
Step 2: put two younger children to bed for their afternoon nap
Step 3: Eat a whole block of DARK chocolate with bits of raspberry through it while you surf the 'net and otherwise procrastinate. You may feel slightly queazy toward the end of the block, but persevere. Reason that Beloved doesn't LIKE raspberries so it would be downright CRUEL to leave it and eat it in front of him.
Step 4: Get a sugar buzz/caffene high LIKE NO OTHER YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED and clean everything in sight including the two younger children who have now woken up from their naps.
Step 5: By the time you have finished step 4 you will have fed and put the children in bed again as it will take a few hours, even totally buzzed. Wonder as you put your breastfed infant to bed why she is so chirpy and wide awake at bed time. Look around at a job well done and push aside the niggling temptation to go and get another block so you can get the kitchen/dining/bathroom area done too.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Breast feeding
My Two Cents by Debi Pearl
The above is a link to one of the best articles on breastfeeding I have ever read! I have had fantastic feeding relationships with my kids and many things have contributed to those times. The way I feed Anna now, amid the chaos of our current home life, is totally different to the way I fed Erin. The clock still plays a role with Anna, but not such a marked one as when I was feeding Erin. I am less concerned about spoiling Anna than I was about spoiling Erin, because I am now more confident in my own ability to spot a child using their will to manipulate me (though I still get sucked in sometimes!). The only thing I would have changed about Erin's babyhood is I would have cuddled and kissed her more, ENJOYED her more, and stressed a little less about the small stuff. But as the boys left their babyhood days behind them, I felt the same way! So feeding Erin largely by the clock wasn't "wrong" and neither is the more laze fare method I use with Anna. Both work equally well in the circumstances they were used, with the children who were being fed and my body (which has changed markedly in the last 6 years!).
When I am asked for breastfeeding advice, I always struggle to put into words exactly what I mean. Yes, I do wake my new babies every three hours(ish) during the day for feeds, but no, I don't let the clock control me. Yes, I do think that feeding is a beautiful, natural thing that is largely guided by instinct, but it is also a learned skill. The thing is, each child is different and with each child, I am different. There are few pieces of advice that suit every mother and every child. Even with Anna I learned new things and had to adjust technique to her unique needs. I found my midwife an invaluable support during that time and probably will next time too. Next time I am clearing the decks of all but temporary visitors while we go about the work of establishing our breastfeeding relationship because that time is so intense and demanding. Anna took about five days to get the hang of latching properly, and it is only after I expressed and drip fed her to get her blood sugar up that she perked up and started pulling her weight. HOWEVER, I have met some midwives who simply don't have a clue, some people benefit from having a houseful of guests all gathering around to take care of them and 3/4 of my babies have not needed expressed colostrum. So little if any of what I learned from my time initiating feeding with Anna can be generalised to EVERY baby and mother.
Anyway, if you have a moment and are expecting to feed another baby one day soon, go and check it out!
My Two Cents by Debi Pearl
The above is a link to one of the best articles on breastfeeding I have ever read! I have had fantastic feeding relationships with my kids and many things have contributed to those times. The way I feed Anna now, amid the chaos of our current home life, is totally different to the way I fed Erin. The clock still plays a role with Anna, but not such a marked one as when I was feeding Erin. I am less concerned about spoiling Anna than I was about spoiling Erin, because I am now more confident in my own ability to spot a child using their will to manipulate me (though I still get sucked in sometimes!). The only thing I would have changed about Erin's babyhood is I would have cuddled and kissed her more, ENJOYED her more, and stressed a little less about the small stuff. But as the boys left their babyhood days behind them, I felt the same way! So feeding Erin largely by the clock wasn't "wrong" and neither is the more laze fare method I use with Anna. Both work equally well in the circumstances they were used, with the children who were being fed and my body (which has changed markedly in the last 6 years!).
When I am asked for breastfeeding advice, I always struggle to put into words exactly what I mean. Yes, I do wake my new babies every three hours(ish) during the day for feeds, but no, I don't let the clock control me. Yes, I do think that feeding is a beautiful, natural thing that is largely guided by instinct, but it is also a learned skill. The thing is, each child is different and with each child, I am different. There are few pieces of advice that suit every mother and every child. Even with Anna I learned new things and had to adjust technique to her unique needs. I found my midwife an invaluable support during that time and probably will next time too. Next time I am clearing the decks of all but temporary visitors while we go about the work of establishing our breastfeeding relationship because that time is so intense and demanding. Anna took about five days to get the hang of latching properly, and it is only after I expressed and drip fed her to get her blood sugar up that she perked up and started pulling her weight. HOWEVER, I have met some midwives who simply don't have a clue, some people benefit from having a houseful of guests all gathering around to take care of them and 3/4 of my babies have not needed expressed colostrum. So little if any of what I learned from my time initiating feeding with Anna can be generalised to EVERY baby and mother.
Anyway, if you have a moment and are expecting to feed another baby one day soon, go and check it out!
My Two Cents by Debi Pearl
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Home Organisation Tips
This is a snippit from this weeks Old Schoolhouse newsletter. Worth signing up to if you aren't already.
The Familyman
Todd Wilson, Familyman Ministries
Having me talk about decluttering a house is like having . . . Ruth Beechick talk about the reasons why you should send your kids to public school. It goes against my slob nature. But because I just hate leaving my "familyman space" blank, here are a few tips I shared in the Spring issue of The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine:
So here it is: The Familyman's Guide to Home Organization.
1. If you haven't worn it since high school, throw it out.
2. If an undergarment has more than 6 holes in it, throw it out . . . unless it's your husband's, which is good for up to 20 holes.
3. If you pick it up and don't know what it is, toss it.
4. Do not purchase or accept a game or craft with the word "pieces" on it.
5. To help in the organization process, consider giving up your children for adoption.
6. Flypaper strategically hung around the house works like hangers for those hard-to-store items.
7. The space under the bed is meant to conceal things. In fact, if you place one concrete block under the foot of each leg on a king-sized bed, it increases that space by 60 cubic feet, virtually eliminating all bedroom clutter.
8. By frosting the door of a shower stall, it can double as a food pantry.
9. Forget those 25 10-gallon plastic containers, which will end up empty in about six days anyway . . . instead get one big 250-gallon plastic container.
10. By placing TWO concrete blocks under the foot of each leg on a king-sized bed, you can store most of the contents of your garage, including a riding lawnmower and industrial-strength snow blower.
And above all . . .
Be Real,
The Familyman
Todd Wilson, Familyman Ministries
Having me talk about decluttering a house is like having . . . Ruth Beechick talk about the reasons why you should send your kids to public school. It goes against my slob nature. But because I just hate leaving my "familyman space" blank, here are a few tips I shared in the Spring issue of The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine:
So here it is: The Familyman's Guide to Home Organization.
1. If you haven't worn it since high school, throw it out.
2. If an undergarment has more than 6 holes in it, throw it out . . . unless it's your husband's, which is good for up to 20 holes.
3. If you pick it up and don't know what it is, toss it.
4. Do not purchase or accept a game or craft with the word "pieces" on it.
5. To help in the organization process, consider giving up your children for adoption.
6. Flypaper strategically hung around the house works like hangers for those hard-to-store items.
7. The space under the bed is meant to conceal things. In fact, if you place one concrete block under the foot of each leg on a king-sized bed, it increases that space by 60 cubic feet, virtually eliminating all bedroom clutter.
8. By frosting the door of a shower stall, it can double as a food pantry.
9. Forget those 25 10-gallon plastic containers, which will end up empty in about six days anyway . . . instead get one big 250-gallon plastic container.
10. By placing TWO concrete blocks under the foot of each leg on a king-sized bed, you can store most of the contents of your garage, including a riding lawnmower and industrial-strength snow blower.
And above all . . .
Be Real,
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Art at our house
A while a go I did a post on how I plan to teach Art to my kids.
Looking back, it wasn't a very good post!
It was done in haste, a cut and past job from some other stuff I am working on and didn't really explain what our Art LOOKS like.
This post won't really do it justice either, but I will revisit this from time to time. This blog is a little like my brain in that way, fragmented!
Anyways, art.
Why do we do art?
Two reasons really.
1. To develop an understanding of art - artistic literacy if you will - and the ability to gain a basic comprehension of artistic works.
2. To gain experience with using varied media and and artistic conventions in original creations. In real people speak - make our own stuff!
Why do I think this is important?
Art is a method of communication and expression. Through artwork, people have expressed what is going on inside their hearts and minds and/or what they observe going on around them since creation. This makes sense seeing as we were made in the image of the Creator! Being able to communicate with people, to understand and be understood by them, is a key goal of our homeschool. Being able to experience and pursue personal interests and create something original are also goals of our homeschool. Art is a brilliant way of doing this. That being said, my main art education came from being a model for art classes to help pay my way through Uni and I can barely draw a straight line! I am not an artist, but I am not about to let that stop me!
How does our art look with 4 kids under 5, 2 cats, untold numbers of mice and a house under renovation?
Like this.
Today, we tried out watercolours while the babies were asleep. Billy probably lasted about 10 or 15 minutes before loosing interest, but during that time he had fun, learned about colours and worked on his fine motor skills by manipulating his brush. Erin went for about 4 hours on and off through the day - she is my little artist! I had a go for about 20 minutes. I have not used watercolours before ever. The result? Nothing I am about to frame! And that is fine with me. This was our mess around session. The main aim of this time was becoming familiar with the materials.
Next month begins our new look at an artist. Our (my) chosen artist? Beatrix Potter. An amazing artist, naturalist and author and we have easy access to all her works in books that we own and online. This is why we are having a go at watercolour now, to gain an understanding of them so that we can understand how fantastic her works are!
Likely, we won't reach her standard in three months, it took her years to get there. Each of us will take away different things and spend varying amounts of time on our projects, but that is fine. Not all of us are called to be artists! It is not the product with our art sessions, but the process. Learning about some of the challenges with the materials, subject matter etc.
Notice how I am saying "we" and "us"? That is because I am learning too. I don't teach the kids art, I learn along side them. I share my knowledge and experience, and so do they. It is amazing what you can learn from a four year old who has spent a few hours working a media you know nothing about! And if they see me messing up, starting again and getting excited about learning something new, that teaches them far more than just art.
MUST HAVE elements of an art program, in my opinion, are:
Mess around times. Learning about the materials by messing around with them makes for much less frustration when you are actually trying to get them to work. Imagine if someone handed you a palate of oils, canvas and the Mona Lisa and said "do that". That is how most kids feel when presented with a project and unfamiliar materials.
Good models. Something to aim for, to INSPIRE! To want to produce art, you need to appreciate it!
Someone to learn with. Someone to share frustration and elation with in learning is a big plus.
Get EXCITED! If you are, they will be.
DON'T DO elements of an art program, in my opinion, are:
Don't expect the Mona Lisa. While the greats copied the masters etc. they only went on to be great because they loved what they did and messed around with the materials. There were a million 'failures' for every success. Focus on the process, not the product.
Don't do fluffy bunnies. Gluing cotton balls on a picture of a rabbit is not art. Do it if you want to, but don't call it art.
Don't keep going after it is not fun. 10-15 minutes A WEEK will teach more than pushing hours on end - especially with really little ones. If it is not fun, stop and do something else, come back later.
To see how other Aussie homeschoolers "do" art, pop over to Aussie Homeschool
To find a whole heap of different tips about everything under the sun, pop over to Works For Me Wednesday at
Looking back, it wasn't a very good post!
It was done in haste, a cut and past job from some other stuff I am working on and didn't really explain what our Art LOOKS like.
This post won't really do it justice either, but I will revisit this from time to time. This blog is a little like my brain in that way, fragmented!
Anyways, art.
Why do we do art?
Two reasons really.
1. To develop an understanding of art - artistic literacy if you will - and the ability to gain a basic comprehension of artistic works.
2. To gain experience with using varied media and and artistic conventions in original creations. In real people speak - make our own stuff!
Why do I think this is important?
Art is a method of communication and expression. Through artwork, people have expressed what is going on inside their hearts and minds and/or what they observe going on around them since creation. This makes sense seeing as we were made in the image of the Creator! Being able to communicate with people, to understand and be understood by them, is a key goal of our homeschool. Being able to experience and pursue personal interests and create something original are also goals of our homeschool. Art is a brilliant way of doing this. That being said, my main art education came from being a model for art classes to help pay my way through Uni and I can barely draw a straight line! I am not an artist, but I am not about to let that stop me!
How does our art look with 4 kids under 5, 2 cats, untold numbers of mice and a house under renovation?
Like this.
Today, we tried out watercolours while the babies were asleep. Billy probably lasted about 10 or 15 minutes before loosing interest, but during that time he had fun, learned about colours and worked on his fine motor skills by manipulating his brush. Erin went for about 4 hours on and off through the day - she is my little artist! I had a go for about 20 minutes. I have not used watercolours before ever. The result? Nothing I am about to frame! And that is fine with me. This was our mess around session. The main aim of this time was becoming familiar with the materials.
Next month begins our new look at an artist. Our (my) chosen artist? Beatrix Potter. An amazing artist, naturalist and author and we have easy access to all her works in books that we own and online. This is why we are having a go at watercolour now, to gain an understanding of them so that we can understand how fantastic her works are!
Likely, we won't reach her standard in three months, it took her years to get there. Each of us will take away different things and spend varying amounts of time on our projects, but that is fine. Not all of us are called to be artists! It is not the product with our art sessions, but the process. Learning about some of the challenges with the materials, subject matter etc.
Notice how I am saying "we" and "us"? That is because I am learning too. I don't teach the kids art, I learn along side them. I share my knowledge and experience, and so do they. It is amazing what you can learn from a four year old who has spent a few hours working a media you know nothing about! And if they see me messing up, starting again and getting excited about learning something new, that teaches them far more than just art.
MUST HAVE elements of an art program, in my opinion, are:
Mess around times. Learning about the materials by messing around with them makes for much less frustration when you are actually trying to get them to work. Imagine if someone handed you a palate of oils, canvas and the Mona Lisa and said "do that". That is how most kids feel when presented with a project and unfamiliar materials.
Good models. Something to aim for, to INSPIRE! To want to produce art, you need to appreciate it!
Someone to learn with. Someone to share frustration and elation with in learning is a big plus.
Get EXCITED! If you are, they will be.
DON'T DO elements of an art program, in my opinion, are:
Don't expect the Mona Lisa. While the greats copied the masters etc. they only went on to be great because they loved what they did and messed around with the materials. There were a million 'failures' for every success. Focus on the process, not the product.
Don't do fluffy bunnies. Gluing cotton balls on a picture of a rabbit is not art. Do it if you want to, but don't call it art.
Don't keep going after it is not fun. 10-15 minutes A WEEK will teach more than pushing hours on end - especially with really little ones. If it is not fun, stop and do something else, come back later.
To see how other Aussie homeschoolers "do" art, pop over to Aussie Homeschool
To find a whole heap of different tips about everything under the sun, pop over to Works For Me Wednesday at
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday Mythbuster: Equality = the same treatment
I saw a photo that I took of Erin when she was Christopher's age. She was covered in paint and glitter during one of our regular craft sessions and looked completely adorable and like she was having SO much fun.
Today, I packed up the paint before I got Christopher up from his nap.
When it was just Erin and I, it was natural to fill our somewhat empty days with sticking things together, painting them and pouring glitter all over them! I look back on those times fondly. I don't know if it did anything for her fine motor skills or not, but we had a ball.
Now, our days are not so empty and guiding a 19 month old through the "mess risks" inherant in such activities is just beyond me. Does this mean Christopher is deprived? NO He has two older siblings to play with almost constantly, more toys because he has all Erin AND Billy's cast offs (and the ones they still use but aren't using at that moment), goes on more walks and has a more kid friendly back yard than Erin did at his age. He stood on a chair beside me "helping" wash the dishes for an hour today and just hopped down from sitting on my lap, interrupting my 'puter time with fifty kisses in a row (I didn't mind!). In fact his childhood is TOTALLY different to Erin's, but no less rich.
Different does not mean "More" or "Less", it just means different.
If one child goes out for a treat or gets a present, it does not mean that they all must get their turn right there and then. It is just not practical to do things that way. Some days one gets more (attention, treats, stories etc.) other days another will. It all evens out over time.
To try and make sure they all have the same would be like taking them out for ice cream and, because one likes rocky road, another chocolate, and the other butterscotch, making them all have vanilla.
Each child has a different childhood because each child is different.
Today, I packed up the paint before I got Christopher up from his nap.
When it was just Erin and I, it was natural to fill our somewhat empty days with sticking things together, painting them and pouring glitter all over them! I look back on those times fondly. I don't know if it did anything for her fine motor skills or not, but we had a ball.
Now, our days are not so empty and guiding a 19 month old through the "mess risks" inherant in such activities is just beyond me. Does this mean Christopher is deprived? NO He has two older siblings to play with almost constantly, more toys because he has all Erin AND Billy's cast offs (and the ones they still use but aren't using at that moment), goes on more walks and has a more kid friendly back yard than Erin did at his age. He stood on a chair beside me "helping" wash the dishes for an hour today and just hopped down from sitting on my lap, interrupting my 'puter time with fifty kisses in a row (I didn't mind!). In fact his childhood is TOTALLY different to Erin's, but no less rich.
Different does not mean "More" or "Less", it just means different.
If one child goes out for a treat or gets a present, it does not mean that they all must get their turn right there and then. It is just not practical to do things that way. Some days one gets more (attention, treats, stories etc.) other days another will. It all evens out over time.
To try and make sure they all have the same would be like taking them out for ice cream and, because one likes rocky road, another chocolate, and the other butterscotch, making them all have vanilla.
Each child has a different childhood because each child is different.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Sleep Deprivation
I feel like a bit of a fraud writing this. After all, most of my babies sleep through within the first three months and are "good" sleepers. BUT, bad dreams, illness, teething, "stages", pregnancy discomforts/insomnia..... Yes, sleep deprivation is something I am at least a little familiar with! Here are my tips for doing without sleep.
1. Don't count the hours. Knowing you only had two hours sleep last night does not make you any less tired, in fact it may make you more tired. Don't bother doing the math.
2. Just keep moving. Do something, do something else, then do something after that. Don't sit down until you can stay down.
3. Lower your expectations for the day. You will not solve all the issues that have cropped up over the last year in one day, especially if it is a tired day. If it is a tired day, you may get a little weepy and sooky over this. Get a grip, do what you can and keep a mental "TA-DA!!" list of what you DID manage to do!
4. Remember, this too will pass. Grab hold of the postives of this stage of life and drink them in, don't focus on sleep or lack thereof.
5. Take those night time moments and use them for good. Pray, sing worship songs, speak blessings and scripture from your heart over your baby.
6. Keep things quiet, calm and dim. Don't turn on all the lights, make yourself a coffee and switch on the TV to feed the baby, this will signal that it is UP TIME! If things are as quiet and dim as you can make it, you are signaling that now is still sleep time.
7. Don't needlessly change nappies over night. Yes, I know some out there will call the parenting police on me, but hear me out. You are expecting this kid to sleep through, if they do that they will go all night without a nappy change. A nappy change WILL wake a kid up. The only reason I change a bub at night is if the nappy malfunctions, it is icky smelling or if I need a newborn to wake up to feed properly so they don't wake up after 20 minutes wanting me again.
8. Keep hydrated. For some reason, if I am tired I need to drink more. I feel a million times better if I do. If you are regularly feeding a bub, put a drink bottle next to your feeding spot. Otherwise, put one on your nightstand.
9. Eat low GI, high protein food. It is SOOOOO easy to snack when you're tired. Getting fat makes you even tireder. This is one I struggle with, but if you manage it that's good!
10. Don't expect to sleep through. It's hard when perfect strangers ask if your bub is sleeping through. It seems to be a big thing for our culture! At the end of the day, I like the extra sleep of bub sleeping through, older children staying asleep and not having my bladder pummeled by an internal infant, but it is a small price to pay for what I get.
1. Don't count the hours. Knowing you only had two hours sleep last night does not make you any less tired, in fact it may make you more tired. Don't bother doing the math.
2. Just keep moving. Do something, do something else, then do something after that. Don't sit down until you can stay down.
3. Lower your expectations for the day. You will not solve all the issues that have cropped up over the last year in one day, especially if it is a tired day. If it is a tired day, you may get a little weepy and sooky over this. Get a grip, do what you can and keep a mental "TA-DA!!" list of what you DID manage to do!
4. Remember, this too will pass. Grab hold of the postives of this stage of life and drink them in, don't focus on sleep or lack thereof.
5. Take those night time moments and use them for good. Pray, sing worship songs, speak blessings and scripture from your heart over your baby.
6. Keep things quiet, calm and dim. Don't turn on all the lights, make yourself a coffee and switch on the TV to feed the baby, this will signal that it is UP TIME! If things are as quiet and dim as you can make it, you are signaling that now is still sleep time.
7. Don't needlessly change nappies over night. Yes, I know some out there will call the parenting police on me, but hear me out. You are expecting this kid to sleep through, if they do that they will go all night without a nappy change. A nappy change WILL wake a kid up. The only reason I change a bub at night is if the nappy malfunctions, it is icky smelling or if I need a newborn to wake up to feed properly so they don't wake up after 20 minutes wanting me again.
8. Keep hydrated. For some reason, if I am tired I need to drink more. I feel a million times better if I do. If you are regularly feeding a bub, put a drink bottle next to your feeding spot. Otherwise, put one on your nightstand.
9. Eat low GI, high protein food. It is SOOOOO easy to snack when you're tired. Getting fat makes you even tireder. This is one I struggle with, but if you manage it that's good!
10. Don't expect to sleep through. It's hard when perfect strangers ask if your bub is sleeping through. It seems to be a big thing for our culture! At the end of the day, I like the extra sleep of bub sleeping through, older children staying asleep and not having my bladder pummeled by an internal infant, but it is a small price to pay for what I get.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The simplest nature walk ever.
Give each child an empty egg carton.
Ask them to fill each cup with something God made that they found in the back yard.
Erin's interpretation:
lavender, autumn leaves, seeds, bulbs, grass, pebbles, clover, lawn dasies etc.
Billy's interpretation:
Dirt. In every single cup.
The Lord God Made It All!!!!
(I'm claiming this one as a little victory as I actually got organised enough to do this!)
Ask them to fill each cup with something God made that they found in the back yard.
Erin's interpretation:
lavender, autumn leaves, seeds, bulbs, grass, pebbles, clover, lawn dasies etc.
Billy's interpretation:
Dirt. In every single cup.
The Lord God Made It All!!!!
(I'm claiming this one as a little victory as I actually got organised enough to do this!)
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Chore Bingo - tip
I find it hard to find a whole hour where I don't get interrupted these days, especially one where everyone is awake! So my cleaning hour kinda doesn't work anymore. So instead I have made a chart with each chore that needs to be done on a weekly or fortnightly basis. I try and do one or more a day and when I do one I colour it in. When they are all coloured in, BINGO! I get a new chore sheet - lucky me. No, really, I get a cleaner house than I had before and a family who is that little more comfortable!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Little Victories
Mama Bug has posted a challenge on her blog.
A challenge to document out little victories in going against our first instinct and doing what is best for our children.
One of my little victories has been our Jobs List!
On the inside of my pantry doors there are two sheets of paper. Each sheet is divided in four with some very dodgy art work on them! I made these about two weeks ago with the children. We sat down together and I asked them all the things that we need to do to keep the dining area clean. They were pretty good and thorough! They even included wiping the light fittings. We trimmed the list down to eight items and I divided them evenly between the two sheets. After (almost) every meal now the older two children clear and wipe the table, wipe down the chairs (including Christopher's high chair), clear any toys or other things that don't belong and wipe the windowsills. They even sweep (well, use the brush and shovel to sweep up the pile when I sweep) and mop! The adds another few minutes every meal to the clean up. There have been a few times when I have just wanted to let it slide that day, but we are sticking with it! My job is to oversee, help and help keep the babies out of their way!
You know what the thing that makes me MOST proud is?
They have started making Christopher their "assistant", giving him little jobs to do or things to carry so he doesn't feel left out!
How cute is that.
That is my little victory, and it is bigger than I expected it would be.
A challenge to document out little victories in going against our first instinct and doing what is best for our children.
One of my little victories has been our Jobs List!
On the inside of my pantry doors there are two sheets of paper. Each sheet is divided in four with some very dodgy art work on them! I made these about two weeks ago with the children. We sat down together and I asked them all the things that we need to do to keep the dining area clean. They were pretty good and thorough! They even included wiping the light fittings. We trimmed the list down to eight items and I divided them evenly between the two sheets. After (almost) every meal now the older two children clear and wipe the table, wipe down the chairs (including Christopher's high chair), clear any toys or other things that don't belong and wipe the windowsills. They even sweep (well, use the brush and shovel to sweep up the pile when I sweep) and mop! The adds another few minutes every meal to the clean up. There have been a few times when I have just wanted to let it slide that day, but we are sticking with it! My job is to oversee, help and help keep the babies out of their way!
You know what the thing that makes me MOST proud is?
They have started making Christopher their "assistant", giving him little jobs to do or things to carry so he doesn't feel left out!
How cute is that.
That is my little victory, and it is bigger than I expected it would be.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
It's not the bad, but the good that traps me.
I don't spend hours on the 'net gambling, looking at internet porn, checking out how to make terrorist bombs. I don't get prescription drugs sent to my door to be consumed or fed to my children. I don't plunge myself in to debt shopping on e-bay and various other stores (tempting though it may be sometimes!) or engage in illicit affairs over chat.
I check out encouraging blogs, do Bible study, Blog myself, research homeschooling, find people who need praying for, keep in touch with family and friends, research home management techniques. All good things! But not great things.
Holding my babies is a great thing, talking to them, reading to them, teaching them, loving them. Keeping a welcoming and loving home for my family is a great thing. Talking to my husband is a great thing!
Good things are, well, good. Until they get in the way of great things.
I have known women who turned their children outside in the cold wearing grubby, days old clothing and nappies near hanging off the little ones - so they could clean house. I have known women who sent their children to another room for weeks on end to pretty much go feral while they researched homeschooling. I have known women who constantly refuse their husbands advances, or even requests for company and conversation, to finish crafts or construct a new home management book. All of these women took pride in being a submissive wife and loving mother and described it as a calling of God. The reality was much different though. The reality was frightening. Good drowning out the great, and becoming bad.
It shocks me how easy it can be to slide down that road.
So right now, I am going to put aside this good thing until tomorrow and help my daughter with her school work.
What great thing will you do today?
I check out encouraging blogs, do Bible study, Blog myself, research homeschooling, find people who need praying for, keep in touch with family and friends, research home management techniques. All good things! But not great things.
Holding my babies is a great thing, talking to them, reading to them, teaching them, loving them. Keeping a welcoming and loving home for my family is a great thing. Talking to my husband is a great thing!
Good things are, well, good. Until they get in the way of great things.
I have known women who turned their children outside in the cold wearing grubby, days old clothing and nappies near hanging off the little ones - so they could clean house. I have known women who sent their children to another room for weeks on end to pretty much go feral while they researched homeschooling. I have known women who constantly refuse their husbands advances, or even requests for company and conversation, to finish crafts or construct a new home management book. All of these women took pride in being a submissive wife and loving mother and described it as a calling of God. The reality was much different though. The reality was frightening. Good drowning out the great, and becoming bad.
It shocks me how easy it can be to slide down that road.
So right now, I am going to put aside this good thing until tomorrow and help my daughter with her school work.
What great thing will you do today?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
It's moments like these....
Do you know what my oldest son did today?
My gentle, lovely, peaceful Billy?
The one who is bullied and bitten by his younger brother sometimes?
The one who wouldn't hurt a fly, or if he did he'd be really really sorry and probably cry?
He threw his teddy bear AT MY HEAD!
Do you know why?
Because I told him to put the bear away for songs and prayers.
When I stopped seeing red and took appropriate disciplinary action and was again able to remember all the parenting proverbs that I know (don't take misbehavior personally, discipline is about THEM not YOU, think of it as a training opportunity!) I realised, this is why the Lord woke me up at 5am this morning for a little extra prayer time, He knew I'd need it!
My gentle, lovely, peaceful Billy?
The one who is bullied and bitten by his younger brother sometimes?
The one who wouldn't hurt a fly, or if he did he'd be really really sorry and probably cry?
He threw his teddy bear AT MY HEAD!
Do you know why?
Because I told him to put the bear away for songs and prayers.
When I stopped seeing red and took appropriate disciplinary action and was again able to remember all the parenting proverbs that I know (don't take misbehavior personally, discipline is about THEM not YOU, think of it as a training opportunity!) I realised, this is why the Lord woke me up at 5am this morning for a little extra prayer time, He knew I'd need it!
Friday, April 10, 2009
How I plan to teach art to my kids:
Study one artist, period, culture, media or movement per term in three stages over twelve weeks, one hour per week.
Before the study starts:
collect books, websites etc. about the study subject. Collect the art consumables.
Consume & Copy –
Week one and two –View works of art relevant to the study and sketch one per week in art journal. Use the internet, books, prints, actual works etc. Read about the study subject (i.e. artist biographies, books about the historical or cultural context) and discuss subject with others. If you chose a subject that connects in with your other schoolwork (i.e. study Da Vinci when you are studying Renaissance) you can kill two birds with one stone! Continue reading and discussion throughout study.
Week three and four – make an “other media” copy of a favorite work (i.e. paint a copy of Van Gough’s Sunflowers on canvas, make a copy of a Turkish mosaic with cut out paper)
Compare & Contrast –
Week five and six– Compare two works within the study (e.g. Van Gough’s Sunflowers with his self portrait or a Turkish mosaic with a mosaic from the Taj Mahal). Paste printed out pictures from the internet etc in your art journal and write things that are the same and things that are different. Pay attention to lines, colour, subject matter, media, where things are placed (on the canvas, in the photo etc.). Write which you prefer and why.
Week seven and eight– compare one work from within the study with one that is not in the study but that uses similar topics or media or is from the same time period (e.g. Van Gough’s Sunflowers with a modern painting of sunflowers, DaVinci’s Last Supper with Michelangelo’s Sistine chapel). Paste printed out pictures from the internet etc in your art journal and write things that are the same and things that are different. Pay attention to lines, colour, subject matter, media, where things are placed (on the canvas, in the photo etc.). Write which you prefer and why.
Compose and exhibit–
Plan and create an artwork using a media or style or subject learned about. For example, paint an original canvass painting of a sunflower or create a mosaic using small tiles or photograph people posed in a Bible story scene. This is done over four weeks for a reason! An artist doesn't compose a work in an hour and then call it finished! Plan in the first week (sketch onto canvass, draw a plan etc) then do over the next week(s). If it doesn't work, there is time to do over the next week. If you are all finished early you can invite someone around the next week to show them the artistic creation! If you aren't, just put it on display in the home.
Suggested 6 year cycle for non/early readers
Year One - Ancient Egyptian, Babylonian, Roman
Year Two - Monastery calligraphy and iconography, Islamic art (
Year Three - Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Japanese Art
Year Four - Spanish art, Monet, Van Gough
Year Five - local art galleries, photography, Picasso
Year Six - Aboriginal Art, Australian Colonial Art, Australian Iconography
This is all rough and elastic and is built to go with our lifestyle and planned history studies etc. Just thought I'd share!
Saturday, April 04, 2009
The Consequences
*DISCLAIMER* I don't think I have all the answers here. I am writing mainly to myself as I have mucked this up on MANY occasions. Through the grace of God I am improving in my parenting and if what I write encourages others that's great, but please don't feel discouraged. I truly believe that single events in parenting are not what matters, it is what CHARACTERISES our parenting that matters. Parenting on our knees through is Grace the only way to do it.
I believe the best teacher of children is consequences. Unfortunately, many children in our society (including my own at times!) are shielded from the consequences of their actions. Why? Sometimes because it is easier for the adult in charge, sometimes because it makes us (the adults in charge) feel good, sometimes we make excuses for bad behaviour, and sometimes it is because we are overprotective.
Example A:
It has been a long day. You were kept up the night before by the baby. Your to-do list is actually longer than when you started the day and the ta-da list is WOEFULLY short. You have visitors coming for dinner (to eat dinner with you, if they were on the menu it'd be easier 'cause then you wouldn't have to cook, just had to clarify there) and your Dearly Beloved is in danger of becoming Dearly Beheaded because he is LATE and didn't call. And the kids start acting up. "Muuuuuuuum, he hit me" "WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLL, she HIT me!" the toddler is climbing onto the dining table and rearranging your efforts and the baby needs feeding. Don't bother how I know how a mother feels at this point, I just do. What do we do? Guess what kids DVD time! We don't address the issues of climbing on the table, we don't address how we deal with conflict, we don't apply the set consequences of these trespasses, we whack on a DVD and tell them to park it. Again, don't ask me how I know this is what we do, I just DO OK?
Think Long Term:
what messages is this sending?
It is OK to break the rules if authority is busy elsewhere.
The adult equivalent? Police are too busy trying to catch axe murderers to worry about me fudging on a legal document so that so-and-so takes the license points for my speeding ticket (this is true in Australia, unless you are a retired judge it seems). My boss is too busy worrying about deadlines to even notice that I have Internet porn open on my computer during my lunch hour. "The Lord does not see as man sees. Man looks to the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart". We cannot afford to be too busy for our children, not if their eternal welfare is at stake.
What message does it send if our kids are thinking "My Mum is more worried about getting dinner together than disciplining me."? It is better for you to NEVER entertain and feed your family only on breakfast cereal and parent your children than to have a sumptuous feast laid out nightly with kids left to go feral. I hope my kids think "hey, her world stops for me* if I am doing the wrong thing, and she kinda makes my world uncomfortable. I think I better shape up because this seems pretty important"
* perhaps you may want to make sure that when they are doing the wrong thing isn't the ONLY time your world stops for them, but that's a whole other post.
Example B:
You have told her that if toys are left out at bed time they will go in the black box, if they don't fit in the black box they go to charity. The magna-doodle that you bought her for Christmas is on the floor. The black box is full. There is no way the thing will fit in, none. She has happily played with the thing for two months on a daily basis and YOU love it. Big brown cocker spaniel eyes tear up as you look at them. She knows what you said, she KNOWS the consequences, she knows that you know that she knows. It would feel really good just about now to put it down, walk out saying "oh, I will just do such and such and THEN it will be bed time, you may want to put that away while I am busy" but you both know this would be dodging the consequence. Getting rid of the happy meal toys and the loud, battery operated contraption from great aunt Maud was so easy, this ISN'T.
Think Long Term:
It may give an emotional fuzzy right now to dodge this, but it undermines the lesson you are trying to teach and your integrity as a teacher. Even if it was put away for three months and then brought it out, it still completely undermines the stated consequences. I know, Mum tried that one on me and I don't think I ever cleaned my room again after that (sorry Mum!). We need to realise that we are not disciplining to make life easier for ourselves. It is not about us, it is about the kid.
To avoid consequences to make a child "happy" sends the message "don't worry, I was being too harsh. You can't possibly be expected to live up to those expectations. I'd rather you be happy than obedient". The maximum most children will achieve while they are still children (and some, even when they grow up) is what you will expect of them. We need to be their cheer leaders. "Oh well, you didn't do it this time but hey! I bet you learned that lesson real well huh? I reckon you are NEVER going to leave toys out again and you will grow up to be SUCH a good steward!!". I believe in you. I believe you can do better. I am going to help you do better. I am going to work with you to make sure you do better. I will love you when you fail, I will love you enough to help you up to try again. This is the core of true Christian exhortation. We owe it to our kids to give it to them.
(by the way, I did get rid of the magna-doodle. It hurt, I loved that magna-doodle)
Example C:
It is late and you are out with the whole family at some special event. Your kid walks up, clearly exhausted and demands a drink. You remind the child to use manners. Child explodes into a tantrum of napalm proportions. You smile (not because you're happy, because you are wishing the floor would swallow you, sort of like a chimp with the defensive grin) and say "oh, he's tired" and give him a drink.
Think Long Term:
The message you are sending is obedience/doing the right thing is something we are exempt from if we have a good enough reason. Sort of like the woman with PMS who goes ballistic at her husband, shreds him verbally for being lazy and not mowing the lawn on the weekend then bursts into tears and expects him to comfort her. After all, she has PMS and he SHOULD mow the lawn. Sort of like the man who has a really rough day at work, comes home to a wife with who verbally shreds him for not mowing the lawns and breaks her nose. After all, he had a hard day and she was really horrible to him. Yes, I really do think how we discipline a child is bending the twig in the way the tree should grow. When they are adults, they will be responsible for their own choices and we have a RESPONSIBILITY to equip them for that world. A world where we can choose to be pleasant, even when we feel bad. Where people are mean, stuff goes wrong, we get sick, tired and sad. A world where we can choose how we act, no matter how we feel. A world with eternal consequences to immediate acts.
If your kid is tired, put them to bed. If you can't, put them on your lap. If that is too loud and is disturbing those around you, take it outside. But consequences must happen. It is not merciful to give into a child, it is mercy to be loving enough to gently teach them.
Example D:
Your child comes in forlorn. "They won't play with me". Indignant we rush to their aid. We call the other children in and give them a long lecture about being nice to others and insist that they let the "injured party" play. You turn them out into the back yard where the other children reluctantly and with bad grace include the child. The child who they had formerly excluded from their games because that child was bullying them and stealing their toys.
Think Long Term:
Children kind of operate by the laws of the jungle. If Mum swoops in to make life nice and protect them all the time, they do miss out on some vital lessons. I have my suspicions that a young fella at the pub or nightclub who gets his teeth pushed in when he mouths off, probably would have avoided that had he been allowed to experience a little playground justice growing up. I do not condone bullying under any circumstances (one among my many reasons for homeschooling) and there are times that we need to intervene, but not all the time. If a kid comes in complaining that others won't play with them, try "oh, that's no good. Do you think there may be a reason why they won't play with you?" Or even "Oh, that sucks. I sure wouldn't feel good if that were happening to me." and just leave it hanging. Let the kid work think it through for themselves. They are smarter than we give them credit for!
Another time mothers can be guilty of the swoop in, is when someone else (even dads) discipline and we see them as being too harsh. We want to protect our babies, it is only natural. But a child is more likely to be hurt by you being a mediator than if you just step back and let them work it out themselves. If you constantly act as mediator between your child and others they are supposed to relate to, you are stifling their development of interpersonal skills - in other words their ability to get along with others. Instances of abuse ARE an exception to this of course. I know once or twice I have had the urge to jump in the middle when Beloved was being "too harsh" in my eyes, then after sitting back I realised I would have done exactly the same thing in his shoes - perhaps been even harsher - but it just looked different from the "outside" so to speak. There's a great post that touches on this issue over at Femina called Smother Love.
I want to say again, I get this wrong. I hope that Grace can cover this and that my parenting isn't characterised by poor choices. I believe that discipline needs to be balanced with kindness, love and compassion, but it is neither kind, loving nor compassionate to veto consequences.
Set consequences knowing that you will probably have to enforce them one day. Set them lovingly and prayerfully. Then uphold them. While our Lord is a loving and merciful God, He is also Just. The only reason we dodge that awful consequence of death is through His sacrifice. The consequence was still borne. Uphold the small consequences for your children and introduce them to the One who bore the largest consequence of all. This is our responsibility as parents.
I believe the best teacher of children is consequences. Unfortunately, many children in our society (including my own at times!) are shielded from the consequences of their actions. Why? Sometimes because it is easier for the adult in charge, sometimes because it makes us (the adults in charge) feel good, sometimes we make excuses for bad behaviour, and sometimes it is because we are overprotective.
Example A:
It has been a long day. You were kept up the night before by the baby. Your to-do list is actually longer than when you started the day and the ta-da list is WOEFULLY short. You have visitors coming for dinner (to eat dinner with you, if they were on the menu it'd be easier 'cause then you wouldn't have to cook, just had to clarify there) and your Dearly Beloved is in danger of becoming Dearly Beheaded because he is LATE and didn't call. And the kids start acting up. "Muuuuuuuum, he hit me" "WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLL, she HIT me!" the toddler is climbing onto the dining table and rearranging your efforts and the baby needs feeding. Don't bother how I know how a mother feels at this point, I just do. What do we do? Guess what kids DVD time! We don't address the issues of climbing on the table, we don't address how we deal with conflict, we don't apply the set consequences of these trespasses, we whack on a DVD and tell them to park it. Again, don't ask me how I know this is what we do, I just DO OK?
Think Long Term:
what messages is this sending?
It is OK to break the rules if authority is busy elsewhere.
The adult equivalent? Police are too busy trying to catch axe murderers to worry about me fudging on a legal document so that so-and-so takes the license points for my speeding ticket (this is true in Australia, unless you are a retired judge it seems). My boss is too busy worrying about deadlines to even notice that I have Internet porn open on my computer during my lunch hour. "The Lord does not see as man sees. Man looks to the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart". We cannot afford to be too busy for our children, not if their eternal welfare is at stake.
What message does it send if our kids are thinking "My Mum is more worried about getting dinner together than disciplining me."? It is better for you to NEVER entertain and feed your family only on breakfast cereal and parent your children than to have a sumptuous feast laid out nightly with kids left to go feral. I hope my kids think "hey, her world stops for me* if I am doing the wrong thing, and she kinda makes my world uncomfortable. I think I better shape up because this seems pretty important"
* perhaps you may want to make sure that when they are doing the wrong thing isn't the ONLY time your world stops for them, but that's a whole other post.
Example B:
You have told her that if toys are left out at bed time they will go in the black box, if they don't fit in the black box they go to charity. The magna-doodle that you bought her for Christmas is on the floor. The black box is full. There is no way the thing will fit in, none. She has happily played with the thing for two months on a daily basis and YOU love it. Big brown cocker spaniel eyes tear up as you look at them. She knows what you said, she KNOWS the consequences, she knows that you know that she knows. It would feel really good just about now to put it down, walk out saying "oh, I will just do such and such and THEN it will be bed time, you may want to put that away while I am busy" but you both know this would be dodging the consequence. Getting rid of the happy meal toys and the loud, battery operated contraption from great aunt Maud was so easy, this ISN'T.
Think Long Term:
It may give an emotional fuzzy right now to dodge this, but it undermines the lesson you are trying to teach and your integrity as a teacher. Even if it was put away for three months and then brought it out, it still completely undermines the stated consequences. I know, Mum tried that one on me and I don't think I ever cleaned my room again after that (sorry Mum!). We need to realise that we are not disciplining to make life easier for ourselves. It is not about us, it is about the kid.
To avoid consequences to make a child "happy" sends the message "don't worry, I was being too harsh. You can't possibly be expected to live up to those expectations. I'd rather you be happy than obedient". The maximum most children will achieve while they are still children (and some, even when they grow up) is what you will expect of them. We need to be their cheer leaders. "Oh well, you didn't do it this time but hey! I bet you learned that lesson real well huh? I reckon you are NEVER going to leave toys out again and you will grow up to be SUCH a good steward!!". I believe in you. I believe you can do better. I am going to help you do better. I am going to work with you to make sure you do better. I will love you when you fail, I will love you enough to help you up to try again. This is the core of true Christian exhortation. We owe it to our kids to give it to them.
(by the way, I did get rid of the magna-doodle. It hurt, I loved that magna-doodle)
Example C:
It is late and you are out with the whole family at some special event. Your kid walks up, clearly exhausted and demands a drink. You remind the child to use manners. Child explodes into a tantrum of napalm proportions. You smile (not because you're happy, because you are wishing the floor would swallow you, sort of like a chimp with the defensive grin) and say "oh, he's tired" and give him a drink.
Think Long Term:
The message you are sending is obedience/doing the right thing is something we are exempt from if we have a good enough reason. Sort of like the woman with PMS who goes ballistic at her husband, shreds him verbally for being lazy and not mowing the lawn on the weekend then bursts into tears and expects him to comfort her. After all, she has PMS and he SHOULD mow the lawn. Sort of like the man who has a really rough day at work, comes home to a wife with who verbally shreds him for not mowing the lawns and breaks her nose. After all, he had a hard day and she was really horrible to him. Yes, I really do think how we discipline a child is bending the twig in the way the tree should grow. When they are adults, they will be responsible for their own choices and we have a RESPONSIBILITY to equip them for that world. A world where we can choose to be pleasant, even when we feel bad. Where people are mean, stuff goes wrong, we get sick, tired and sad. A world where we can choose how we act, no matter how we feel. A world with eternal consequences to immediate acts.
If your kid is tired, put them to bed. If you can't, put them on your lap. If that is too loud and is disturbing those around you, take it outside. But consequences must happen. It is not merciful to give into a child, it is mercy to be loving enough to gently teach them.
Example D:
Your child comes in forlorn. "They won't play with me". Indignant we rush to their aid. We call the other children in and give them a long lecture about being nice to others and insist that they let the "injured party" play. You turn them out into the back yard where the other children reluctantly and with bad grace include the child. The child who they had formerly excluded from their games because that child was bullying them and stealing their toys.
Think Long Term:
Children kind of operate by the laws of the jungle. If Mum swoops in to make life nice and protect them all the time, they do miss out on some vital lessons. I have my suspicions that a young fella at the pub or nightclub who gets his teeth pushed in when he mouths off, probably would have avoided that had he been allowed to experience a little playground justice growing up. I do not condone bullying under any circumstances (one among my many reasons for homeschooling) and there are times that we need to intervene, but not all the time. If a kid comes in complaining that others won't play with them, try "oh, that's no good. Do you think there may be a reason why they won't play with you?" Or even "Oh, that sucks. I sure wouldn't feel good if that were happening to me." and just leave it hanging. Let the kid work think it through for themselves. They are smarter than we give them credit for!
Another time mothers can be guilty of the swoop in, is when someone else (even dads) discipline and we see them as being too harsh. We want to protect our babies, it is only natural. But a child is more likely to be hurt by you being a mediator than if you just step back and let them work it out themselves. If you constantly act as mediator between your child and others they are supposed to relate to, you are stifling their development of interpersonal skills - in other words their ability to get along with others. Instances of abuse ARE an exception to this of course. I know once or twice I have had the urge to jump in the middle when Beloved was being "too harsh" in my eyes, then after sitting back I realised I would have done exactly the same thing in his shoes - perhaps been even harsher - but it just looked different from the "outside" so to speak. There's a great post that touches on this issue over at Femina called Smother Love.
I want to say again, I get this wrong. I hope that Grace can cover this and that my parenting isn't characterised by poor choices. I believe that discipline needs to be balanced with kindness, love and compassion, but it is neither kind, loving nor compassionate to veto consequences.
Set consequences knowing that you will probably have to enforce them one day. Set them lovingly and prayerfully. Then uphold them. While our Lord is a loving and merciful God, He is also Just. The only reason we dodge that awful consequence of death is through His sacrifice. The consequence was still borne. Uphold the small consequences for your children and introduce them to the One who bore the largest consequence of all. This is our responsibility as parents.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Our new favourite game
Our nature walk is where the bulk of our "science" happens. I have an altered game of eye spy that we play. I call it "Can you see...." It is a great game to get everyone involved at their own levels. When it is Erin's turn I will ask:
Can you see....a mammal? With four legs? Eating grass?
and I will continue with the clues until she gets to the animal/plant/object I am thinking of.
For Billy the clues are simpler but the concept is still the same.
This game teaches close observation skills, language skills and categorisation, all vital skills for budding scientists! They also ask me which can get REALLY tricky!
Best of all, it is fun. I have a new schooling motto: If it hasn't made you laugh, cry or go wow you probably haven't learned it!
Can you see....a mammal? With four legs? Eating grass?
and I will continue with the clues until she gets to the animal/plant/object I am thinking of.
For Billy the clues are simpler but the concept is still the same.
This game teaches close observation skills, language skills and categorisation, all vital skills for budding scientists! They also ask me which can get REALLY tricky!
Best of all, it is fun. I have a new schooling motto: If it hasn't made you laugh, cry or go wow you probably haven't learned it!
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