Monday, May 25, 2009

Monday Mythbuster: Equality = the same treatment

I saw a photo that I took of Erin when she was Christopher's age. She was covered in paint and glitter during one of our regular craft sessions and looked completely adorable and like she was having SO much fun.

Today, I packed up the paint before I got Christopher up from his nap.

When it was just Erin and I, it was natural to fill our somewhat empty days with sticking things together, painting them and pouring glitter all over them! I look back on those times fondly. I don't know if it did anything for her fine motor skills or not, but we had a ball.

Now, our days are not so empty and guiding a 19 month old through the "mess risks" inherant in such activities is just beyond me. Does this mean Christopher is deprived? NO He has two older siblings to play with almost constantly, more toys because he has all Erin AND Billy's cast offs (and the ones they still use but aren't using at that moment), goes on more walks and has a more kid friendly back yard than Erin did at his age. He stood on a chair beside me "helping" wash the dishes for an hour today and just hopped down from sitting on my lap, interrupting my 'puter time with fifty kisses in a row (I didn't mind!). In fact his childhood is TOTALLY different to Erin's, but no less rich.

Different does not mean "More" or "Less", it just means different.

If one child goes out for a treat or gets a present, it does not mean that they all must get their turn right there and then. It is just not practical to do things that way. Some days one gets more (attention, treats, stories etc.) other days another will. It all evens out over time.

To try and make sure they all have the same would be like taking them out for ice cream and, because one likes rocky road, another chocolate, and the other butterscotch, making them all have vanilla.

Each child has a different childhood because each child is different.

1 comment:

Momma Bug said...

AJ often reminds me of "the privileges of the first-born..." (he is actually third, I am first), but he is actually agreeing with you in saying "hey! The first-born has the privilege of a complete first-year photo album, the younger children have privileges that the older children never saw too."
Smart man -
Life isn't fair. It just isn't.
The sooner our children learn that contentment isn't linked to what they have or get, the more pleasant people they will be.
That, and useful for the Lord's pleasure and glory!!!

Well said (as usual) ;-)