Happy Birth Day to Me!

I remember writing a time-line of what I wanted to achieve in life when I was about 13 or 14. By this stage I wanted to be married, have a farm and have at four children and be pregnant with the fifth. Life didn't go exactly according to plan! Things have started to go in a much more positive direction for me though since I stopped making time lines and started handing over control to God. It hasn't been easy for me though, I like control.

There is an old 80's British sci-fi comedy called Red Dwarf that has a character that reminds me of me. Each semester Rimmer would carefully write out a timetable, colour coded and neatly ruled, to study for his final exam. He would spend so much time making this time table that when it was finished, he'd need to make a new one because he'd lost so much time making the first one - and then of course he'd need another, and another. Until the final night before the exam he'd try and cram in everything he needed to know. Each time he took the exam he was such a wreck he'd flunk in spectacular fashion (i.e. write "I am a fish" 1083 times before passing out). There is a temptation to make my home management book, blog, homeschooling etc. into my version of the colour coded time table. There is a temptation to spend so much time setting goals, organising, researching and categorising that I avoid taking the brave step of teaching, learning, loving and living.

We have a Great Administrator. He has set goals for me, such as loving my husband and children, keeping my home (Titus 2), submitting to my husband (Ephesians 6) and allowing a gentle, quiet spirit to be my adornment (1 Peter 3). I need to ask myself constantly, am I filling my time with that which works toward the goals God set for me, or have I taken control and started turning the tools that were supposed to be helping me into the focus of my life? Am I madly making colour coded time tables while my children are pushed to the side and my husband is ignored? Have I fallen for the deception of "I will just get organised then I will live as God asks"? Am I excusing my lifestyle with "I will just do a bit more research before I follow the directives of the Bible"?

Hebrew thought made no distinction between the sacred and the secular. This was a teaching of Greek philosophy that stole into mainstream thought much later. Study is an act of worship, as is cleaning the house, wiping snotty noses, cooking a meal, kissing a skinned knee. Sacred times such as Sabbaths and Festivals were only the deep pools in the river of spiritual life. The tools we use need to be used to His glory, not become distractions from the Almighty directives.

My prayer for my life is that I will become a woman of His Word. That I will hand over the priorities of my day to Him. That I will LIVE my life, rather than have it be something that simply happens while I am making other plans.

God Bless You,
Jess