Occassionally I get asked why I have so many kids aged so close together.
More often people make assumptions about why I do.
I just give a short answer or leave people to their assumptions
because, well, it isn't really anyone else's business really. Plus, I
think the philosophical, theological and personal reasoning behind
family planning is a very rich, meaty pie to bite into and I could write
several volumes on it and still not cover all the implications. The
problem is most people's eyes start to glaze over after the first few
paragraphs so I don't think it'd ever be a best seller and I am too busy
raising all these kids to ever get around to writing a complete
treatment anyway. Also, like many big stances, the reasoning behind
this action may change as I grow in knowledge and wisdom so I don't
really like to tie myself down too closely.
because this blog is a place where I share quite a few things that are
my business and because it is my little place in cyberspace to make
people's eyes glaze over, and because I can put little disclaimers on
here that say *I may change my mind*, here goes a short mini-treatment
on why I have so many kids so close together in age.
Because Jon and I wanted to.
always wanted a bunch of kids and I slowly won Jon around to the idea
by producing such excellent specimens (that's what I like to think
anyway!). We love the lifestyle and dynamic of raising a large family.
My pregnancies and births have all been relatively easy and previous to
Kaylee all of our babies have been horribly healthy and easy to
manage. We were happy to make the financial choices involved in having a
bunch of kidlets like ours.
So we had 'em - and kept having 'em!
are some people who have assumed that we did this because we felt the
Bible says we shouldn't use birth control and this is not the case.
believe when the Bible talks about children being a blessing it is
right on the money and it is as true and relevant today as it was
thousands of years ago.
However, I believe people who
have just one or two children are equally blessed as those with larger
families and I believe that those who are childless (through their own
choice or otherwise) are just as blessed in a different way.
do not believe that having more children will make me holy in and of
itself (although God certainly uses my kids to polish my character if I
I do not believe that I am less holy or blessed if I choose to actively manage my fertility.
I do have qualms about the potential abortificant effects of hormone
based birth control and do not like what they do to my body - but there
are many other barrier and natural family planning options out there
that are quite effective**. I do believe that if I did not actively
manage my fertility right now I would risk bringing the gospel into
If someone knows that I am a Christian the
choices I make will often shape their view of Christians, God and the
Bible. What I do has the potential to soften or harden their heart to
the Holy Spirit.
1Thessalonians 4:11, 12 urges Christians to "Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and
working with your hands, just as we instructed you before." so that those who are not Christians will respect our lives and we will not be dependent on others.
I were to keep having lots and lots of babies while dependent on
government allowances I would not be making these things my goal, I
would be making having lots of babies my goal. While I can find a lot
of places where the Bible talks about having kids as a blessing, the
only place I can find a direct imperative to have children is in Genesis
when Adam and Eve were given the command to "go forth and multiply" - a
command that speaks in general terms to humanity. If I were to take
this command and ignore the multitude of urgings in the Bible to be
wise, owe no man anything and live a life that brings the Word of God
into good repute also in the Bible, it would be legalism and selective verse-picking.
don't believe God was telling each individual that they MUST go forth
and multiply in this verse and even if I did, "obedience" to this could
be achieved with one child anyway - and would not exempt me from the
other guidelines for living in the Bible.
my main hesitations in putting this post together is, well, babies
happen. I personally know of more than one post-vasectomy baby and many
other pregnancies that have happened in spite of pretty much every type
of birth control. While I am not planning any more babies at this
stage and am actively taking measures to manage my fertility
accordingly, I still COULD fall pregnant. And I do not want to chance
any child I have feeling less that totally loved and wanted. ANY child
that enters our home, planned by us and God or only planned by God, IS
loved, wanted and considered a blessing.
Right now I
have more work in each day than I can really effectively manage without
my husband at home working with me*** which makes us dependent on
others. We are privileged to live in a country whose social security
systems do provide for us. One of our goals at the moment is to not be
dependent on this help again as soon as we are ready. So for now we are
not planning any more babies. If I were to keep having babies right
now and keep saying that "God will provide" for them, the hard-working
taxpaying atheist would be justified in pointing out that they, in fact,
are providing. I had my babies because I wanted them and we could
provide for them and I am thankful for a million different reasons for
those choices we made. I have no regrets and I am thankful for my
children and enjoy having them so young all together. God has blessed
me with a "fruitful" womb, six fantastic kids, and placed me in a rich
country where all my needs are provided for. He also blessed me with a
brain, common sense and the ability to reason and make choices.
And I pray that whatever I do, whatever I choose, the glory will be to God.
And that, in a nut shell, is why I have so many children aged so close together.
** No, I am not going into what I use because frankly, my parents, grandparents and
in-laws read this blog and there are some things I think we just don't
need to know about each other.
***yes, I know I am on the computer and not doing that work
but I am pumping milk as I type. It's called multi tasking....and I may
be a LITTLE bit defensive.