Thursday, May 24, 2007

He Came to Me

I mentioned that I will be adding to theis Blog beyond the normal updates. I wanted to add some encouragement for other Mums in my position and discribe the way I manage my home as I have gained so much from reading other blogs that do this. I wrote this months ago and it has been sitting on my computer ever since. I think it is time to release it to cyber space!

He Came to Me

I am blessed to have two small children and even more blessed to be able to stay at home and be their primary caregiver all day.

This is a wonderful and awesome task. Both the children are beautiful, vibrant personalities, and both have a solid dose of their father’s and my stubbornness and temper! When you are two and a half (as my daughter is) this makes for a tumultuous time as the “drama tiara” comes out on a regular basis! My son, who is seven and a half months, growls when things don’t go his way. I hadn’t known that 6 month olds could have temper tantrums until I met him!

The daunting task of shaping these traits into strength of character is an all day event, it is no wonder I feel the need for prayer on a daily basis!

Therein lies a problem. I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime. As I sit at my desk or kneel down for prayer now days, it seems very common for me to wake up about an hour later, stiff and sore with a little wet patch where I drooled in my sleep!

This is frustrating to say the least. At a time in my life when I need my connection with God on a daily basis more than ever, I was falling asleep every time I tried to connect!

I tried going to bed earlier, and found I never spent time with my night-owl Beloved.

I tried getting up later and found that my house was soon in ruin.

I tried doing both and THAT was a disaster.

Extra vitamins, more water, more exercise, none of it helped. Still, every time I got on my knees or sat at my desk to pray, I would sink into a deep sleep.

I cried out to God silently as I chopped onions for dinner “Am I lazy? Undisciplined?? You and I are usually on such good speaking terms! I want that time just You and me Lord. I want that time to fill up so I can give to my family.”

The next day I got out of bed, I made my Beloved’s lunch and ironed a shirt, I unloaded the dishwasher and grabbed the dog lead to walk the dog – just another chore; one that I had been neglecting lately which my lumbering beast reminded me of with her enthusiastic lick.

We headed out along the footpath, the river bathed in the golden light of a new day, the water birds swooping out over the water.

And all of a sudden, there He was. Walking beside me. “You’ve wanted to talk to me?” He said “Well here I am!”

So we talked. I thanked Him profusely for my beautiful family, such a blessing to me. I asked Him how I should manage things better. I asked His blessings and sang His praises.

Then, as I put my dog back and hung up her lead, I realized that I had spent that time with my Lord, and I haddn’t even yawned. He met me where I am. He came to me, and all I had to do, was ask.

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