Coming home was like waking up from a bad dream. We are already carving out a new normal with feed pumps, breast pumps, medications etc. playing a major part. Today we had pancakes for breakfast and I am still in my PJ's at close to tea time - taking a day out for rest on the Sabbath. Yesterday we had a picnic in the backyard complete with Kaylee in her rocker with her feed hanging from her IV pole. We only have two chapters of The Chronicles of Narnia left to go and then we get to close the books and savour the memories as we move on to another world to visit.
There are adjustments - the kids are learning not to touch Kaylee's pump and tube or my breast pump. Jon and I both go full pelt every day from the first moment of waking to when we fall into bed at the end of the day (Sabbath is a very big hit here at the moment!). There are also a thousand different false alarms and starting at rabbits in the bushes. Last night I was administering Kaylee's meds and felt a bit of resistance. Inside I heaved a big sigh and pictured Kaylee's tube being blocked up with her 6pm med because I didn't flush it well enough. It's a tight rope act to flush enough to get it all out of the tube, but not so much that Kaylee ends up with too much going in to her small intestine at once and making her tummy sore and diluting the capsule contents can be tricky so I thought, perhaps, I had got it wrong. The idea of having to go into hospital that night to have a new one inserted (a rather uncomfortable procedure that can take an hour or more) did NOT appeal. I checked everything and tried again - it turned out the syringe had just stuck a little. Little events like this can get a little tiring!
Her little snore sounds like a cat snoring and it is quite comforting to hear. We are going to get some foam wedges for her to have tummy time and nappy changes on. We discovered that nappy changes on a flat surface makes a small ocean of yellow stomach fluids rush out Kaylee's mouth and nose. Not attractive. We don't need a mobile, there are always a couple of faces hovering over her. She is totally doted on by everyone - other than Andrew who ignores her or tries to steal her dummy.
Jon has done a fabulous job with the other kids and home. Andrew and I are getting re-acquainted. I left a 14 month old with about four teeth, only just pulling himself up on furniture with 0 vocabulary. I have come back to a 16 month old with a mouth full of teeth (he's been teething non-stop since I left) who has taken his first steps already and can say a few words. I need to check with Jon to see what he likes and doesn't like now. Anna is fragile and very cuddly and plays peek-a-boo with Kaylee. Christopher stays as close as he can and often asks "Can I touch Kaylee?" like he thinks she may float away. Billy constantly wants to know if he can help (he laid out Christopher's clothes for him yesterday unasked) and really wants to get in on the practical side of things. Erin has lost a tooth and grown two more since I left. She adores Kaylee and would administer meds if I let her!
While Kaylee's needs have provided a different beat to our life right now (and most likely forever) we still add our melody. Pancakes, picnics, story time and worship are still woven into our homelife. The meandering conversations between Jon and I that have been the staple of the last 11 years still provide veins of gold to our days. Cuddles, kisses, stories, discipline, changing nappies and wiping noses all pepper our days with their own unique colours.
And I love being HOME.
Blogging will likely be a once a week-ish affair now I am home. Life is taking all my time right now
I have more to say than ever but I need to be with my family right now.
The biggest thing left unsaid to all of you out there is THANK YOU.
But I have six kids waiting to be tucked into bed so that will have to wait for later.
But rest assured, I will get back to it.
Somewhere amid living this amazing, crazy life I have been blessed with.