Monday, November 14, 2011

My Arms Are Tired

A poem I wrote while Kaylee was in hospital.

My arms are tired
from holding on to you

It's been seven and a half weeks now
since you were born
since I have slept in my own bed
since I have eaten a meal with your brothers and sisters
around our table
since I have scolded them to pick up their toys
or finish their dinner.
or tucked them in with bedtime stories and prayers

For seven and a half weeks
I have slept in strange beds
on couches
and on chairs next to your warmer
the beeps and bleeps of monitors
weaving through my dreams
I have seen a world I never knew existed
and though you hardly way a thing,
my etherialy beautiful daughter,

my arms are tired
from holding you

I am pressed in at every side
by the pained souls of others
as we watch our children
struggle and fight for life
I have prayed until my voice was just
a solid lump in my throat,
I have sung with my voice cracked
my hand touching your hair
wondering if you could hear me
I have tried to breathe for you
just to keep you going.

My arms are tired
from holding you

and though my arms are tired
and my heart is breaking
and my soul has shattered
into a thousand shards
and the world is now viewed through
the prism of my tears

I have never felt stronger
and the world has never looked
so beautiful


Momma Bug said...


Leisa - LMD AussieHS said...

beautiful; the poem, you & Kaylee...