Ode to the Challenge of Church

I am the blessed mother

Of two aged under three

My beauties and my heartbeats

The very best of me

My days are filled with finger paints,

sloppy kisses, sticky hugs

With tantrums, pouting, storm clouds

‘Time outs’ and surly shrugs

I embrace the work I have

of shaping little people

But Lord knows I need that Sabbath rest

And the building with the steeple!

So off to Sabbath school we go

Dressed in our Sabbath best

For a weekly dose of the fellowship

And a little Sabbath rest

Church time comes and I scan the pews

I pick so carefully

For seats that are most suitable

For my two aged under three

The singing starts, my two do well

They sing along with glee

They don’t quite know all the words

But that doesn’t bother me

They put their offering in the bag

And settle for the speaker

But this, my gentle reader,

Is where the story’s somewhat bleaker!

My toddler starts to wriggle,

He’s about to sprint the mile!

For a kind church member

Is waving down the aisle!

Firmly planted on my lap

He quiets for a bit

Then starts to chortle and to wriggle

This child just will not sit!

I look around and find out how

My babe’s attention has been captured

Someone’s playing peek-a-boo

And young Billy’s quite enraptured!

I smile (somewhat thinly)

and turn my boy around,

Direct my attention to the speaker

And seek the message to be found

The calm is short lived at best

Madame two begins to giggle

The peek-a-boo culprit moved on

And is causing her jiggle

A stern word from Dad turns her back

To her colouring book for now

But not before someone else

Throws us a nasty scowl

I sigh and read the Bible

over my Beloved’s shoulder

Is it my imagination

Or am I feeling somewhat older?

Someone leans over the back of the pew

And hands my son some paper

Gleefully he rips it up!

He thinks it’s quite a caper!

The noise cuts right through the prayer time

And, feeling less than happy,

I take him to the cry room

To remove the paper and change a nappy

I listen hard to hear the word

As I complete his ablation

But someone else tries to engage me

In a conversation!

Politely I extract myself

and mutter up a prayer

I gird my loins and ready my heart

And head back into ‘there’

As I head in I see my Love

March Madame two right out

I hear the smack which is followed by

A Madame two sized shout

I suspect the peek-a-boo Culprit

incited riot and flack

Poor Madame two gets the consequence

Peek-a-boo should have got that smack

We settle as a family,

to hear the speaker speak

Madame two is happy

And Mr Toddler starts to sleep!

Just in time for benediction

And the final hymn

Oh well, I s’pose the Lord knows

We came to visit with Him!

So, dear reader, if this tale

Is to subtle and restrained,

I will make it clearer to you,

Put it in words quite plain!

Please don’t play with my children

When the Word is being read!

As a Child of God I need His Word

I need my daily Bread.

And I want to teach them to respect

The worship needs of others

To sit and be obedient

Especially to their mother!

Please lead by your example

And direct your attention on high.

There will be plenty of time for peek-a-boo

When we meet Jesus in the sky!