Saturday, March 03, 2012

Why I don't write about my other kids much....

You may have noticed that I haven't written much about my other kids lately.

It isn't because they are forgotten. 

One of the reasons is because, as a mother, I need to remember where my story stops and their story starts.  And I need to remember what is mine to tell and what is not.  I remember being shocked, embarrassed and upset when overhearing my parents and teachers talking about things that I had told them in confidence or things I had done that they had been privy to.  When my children are going through an especially vulnerable time in their life, adjusting to the needs of their little sister, it would be very unfair of me to share what is theirs with the world.  I need to respect their privacy.

Another reason is I need to remember that what  I do effects their relationships with each other and with other people.  I retired this blog a while ago.  This is in part because people had said to me on several occasions "Sorry I don't call/visit/write but I read your blog posts so I know what the kids are up to."  Now being a writer is HARD work.  Honestly, one blog post takes me a couple of hours to a week to write.  And no matter how hard I try I still have people COMPLETELY misinterpret what I write.  For example, I had one concerned reader write to me "angry and upset" that I would threaten violence publicly after I wrote THIS post.  I had someone else tell me just before I put the blog on ice that when they read my blog all they read was how hard I worked and how difficult my life is.  Which is about the opposite of what I was actually trying to portray with this blog at the time!  So I figure if people are going to use reading my blog as a substitute for actually having a relationship with my kids and getting to know them as individual people - well, I don't need that kind of pressure in my life right now.

I continue to blog about my journey and to use this blog as a platform to advocate for and educate about special needs.  By association some of my family's life is shared and they have been gracious to agree to this.  But all I will say about my big kids right now is I am SO PROUD of them I could burst.  Each of them is dealing with the stress in our lives in their own unique way.  And every time I look at them a little pot of love in my heart boils over because they are SO DANG CUTE!

But the sharing of their lives on the internet will be limited to photos and the odd cute thing they said or did.  Their inner world is their own.

1 comment:

Momma Bug said...

That all makes perfect sense.
I'm thinking of you lots this week and praying for your Kaylee-girl.
Love love love you my friend!

One day at a time.