AWOL

I'm a little AWOL from blogging this week. While Mum is here visiting, I am taking advantage of having another pair of eyes/hands and I am totally reorganising/disinfecting my whole kitchen.

I hate mouse infestations!

Little Victories

Mama Bug has posted a challenge on her blog.
A challenge to document out little victories in going against our first instinct and doing what is best for our children.

One of my little victories has been our Jobs List!

On the inside of my pantry doors there are two sheets of paper. Each sheet is divided in four with some very dodgy art work on them! I made these about two weeks ago with the children. We sat down together and I asked them all the things that we need to do to keep the dining area clean. They were pretty good and thorough! They even included wiping the light fittings. We trimmed the list down to eight items and I divided them evenly between the two sheets. After (almost) every meal now the older two children clear and wipe the table, wipe down the chairs (including Christopher's high chair), clear any toys or other things that don't belong and wipe the windowsills. They even sweep (well, use the brush and shovel to sweep up the pile when I sweep) and mop! The adds another few minutes every meal to the clean up. There have been a few times when I have just wanted to let it slide that day, but we are sticking with it! My job is to oversee, help and help keep the babies out of their way!

You know what the thing that makes me MOST proud is?

They have started making Christopher their "assistant", giving him little jobs to do or things to carry so he doesn't feel left out!

How cute is that.

That is my little victory, and it is bigger than I expected it would be.

Praise God!

The Lockwood Family has brought little Samuel home. On their behalf, thankyou for all the prayers!

Monday mythbuster: somebody out there knows what they're talking about

It's been a while so I thought we may bust a few myths again! If you bust a myth on your own blog, feel free to link in my comments so I can have a read :)

It is like being thrown in the deep end, this parenting, this LIFE! So we start looking around for someone who knows what they are talking about.

Enter the self help books, the web sites, Oprah!

So many, trawling around for some clue of how to manage, come across someone who seems to have a bit of a clue and latch onto them like a drowning man to a lifesaver. This person seems to have the answer!! I will do what they tell me, follow their rules, read all their books and quote them endlessly to family, friends, and strangers on the street.

This becomes a problem when they start substituting the books, words and ideas of another for their own common sense. If they stop having the courage to make their own decisions and mistakes, and start making someone elses'.

Now I could probably get a masters in self-help and parenting books and websites. And I have found many genuinely useful insights in my reading. The danger is when we start letting the Ezzos, Pearls, Quiverfull Movement, that nice blog we set as our home page, do the thinking for us.

Because the truth is, each one of those people are learning and changing every day. All are slowly, in His grace, morphing into what He intended them to be. And it still hasn't finished. Nor will it finish until He comes again.

By all means, read, research and weigh the ideas of all the 'experts', but read the Bible more and pray more. Test each thing against the True Authority of the Word, because none of these experts are finished works yet! Use the common sense God gave you. If something isn't working for your family, stop and pray about it before grabbing the pamphlet to re-read the twelve step plan to obedient children!

So there you have it, nobody knows completely what they are talking about. So go to the one True Source.

But don't take my word for it, I may not know what I'm talking about!

Who I am ...part 1

I have been blogging for a while now and to tell you the truth, the only people who I thought would read this more than once are my kid's grandmothers! Hi Mum! Hi Kester! It has become clear that I actually have a readership or more than two. So I should probably introduce myself.

Hi, my name is Jess.

That doesn't tell you anything you didn't know from the title does it?

Describing me has always been something I found difficult, so here's what I will do. I will tell you what I am not, using examples that most will know and relate to, and you can fill in the rest.

I am not.....

The Popular Kid.
The one at school who got on with everyone and everyone wanted, at least a little bit, to be liked by and to be like. That's not me. That would require me being a people person. Which I am not. I like people, but I also kind of like people to leave me alone. Popular kids usually lead out in the trends and fads, set an example that people want to follow and take themselves fairly seriously. Taking myself seriously is something that I am NOT good at!

The Geek.
I describe myself as a "thinker and writer of fluctuating skill" in my side bar, please don't mistake that for meaning that I am a smart kid - or geek to use the high school term. To say that I am clever because I think a lot about a lot of different things, is sort of like saying I am Jamie Oliver because I spend a lot of time in the kitchen or I am Shakespeare because I like writing- it doesn't follow. I can fool some people sometimes because I read a lot (or whenever I have a chance, which isn't so much a lot these days) and wear glasses. But at the end of the day I am a bear-of-very-little-brain and I am quite comfortable with that! Also, I am awful at maths. So while I enjoy Monty Python and can actually work out what most of the slogans on the t-shirts at Think Geeks mean, I am not a geek.

The Nice Girl.
The nice girl is nice to everyone and everyone likes her. She is never ever abrasive, confronting or socially inappropriate. She never comes out with odd comments completely out of left field that leave everyone wondering if they heard all of that conversation or if part of it went on with the little voices inside her head. I am not this girl. She is usually conservative and doesn't push the envelope with beliefs or stances. She doesn't do things out of the ordinary and certainly doesn't provoke people just a little bit to see how they react and secretly feel a touch of naughty glee when she gets a bite. Needless to say, this is not me.

The Radical
If there is a cause this girl is on it, she hugs trees, boycotts wool products because PETA says she should, demonstrates every weekend, usually has a petition for people to sign and seeks out to be all the things that the nice girl isn't. If it isn't controversial this girl doesn't want a part of it! This girl is not me. It used to be a little bit me, back in my uni days when I toted black nail polish and a copy of the Female Eunuch around my conservative Christian college, but not so much now. I'm afraid I am a bit to cynical to take the word of a greenie who demonstrates against sustainable forestry then drives home in a car thousands of miles overdue for a service, enters their timber house and stokes up their wood fire before folding thousands of paper pamphlets ready to letterbox against the proposed paper pulp mill! Being a radical for the sake of it is exhausting. Though I gotta admit, every now and then I do throw the odd controversial or provoking remark out there, just to stir things up.

The Shy Kid.
The shy kid who sits unobtrusively in the corner. Comes and goes without drawing attention to themselves. Never debates a point with the teacher or makes waves. Yeah, not me either.

The Goth.
The kid with the black clothes, bad hair dye and loads too much make up who everyone thinks is depressed. I would have LIKED to be this kid once, but the whole effort of putting on that much make up put me off. The nail polish was as far as it got, and I don't even get that far anymore. I just can't take myself that seriously.

The "Conservative Fundamentalist" Kid
You know the one who shows up and stands on a bench in the middle of the playground and preaches to the other kids about how they shouldn't be kissing (or in the current high schools, getting high/laid :S) behind the shelter sheds. The one who organises prayer groups and Bible studies before and after school which only every get one attendee because everyone feels vaguely guilty when they are around her. The one who gets a little thrill out of getting beaten up after school because she thinks of herself as being persecuted and earning brownie points with God with every punch. While I share many beliefs with this kid, I stopped trying to earn brownie points with God a long time ago. So far, God and I are both happy with this decision! I am also more likely to be found sitting on the bench telling someone about how God loves them and what a difference He made in my life.

The sporty kid/Jock.
You mean people run on purpose?? When nothing is chasing them?? For FUN???

Miss Perfect
got the perfect schedule? The perfect grades? The perfect family? Are you always reliable? High achieving? Self disciplined? YOU ARE NOT ME THEN!


Now for what I AM.

I am saved. I am learning. I am changing. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a homemaker. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am a reader. I am a writer. I am a gardener. I am me.

If, in this blog, you find something that lifts, inspires or encourages you, Thank God! If you find something that pricks your conscience, makes you check out your beliefs or touches your heart to change, Thank God. For all the other stuff, thank me :)

And thank YOU for stopping by.

Jess

To My Own Master

To my own master
I stand or fall.
Not you.
A fellow servant.
A comrade in the trenches,
not privy to the
whispered instructions
I receive direct from HQ

By all means,
speak,
if you see me walking to certain death.
But leave not your own post
to chase me down.
hold.
stand firm
because,
if you chase me,
you,
my friend,
may get us both
shot.


written by me, Inspired by Romans 14

A slightly more serious poem to round of poetry month.

The Cat

Part of why we were getting a cat was to teach the kids about life and death - a valuable lesson often learned through having pets. Getting to become gently acquainted with the way the world REALLY is. We didn't expect the education to go quite this way.

He went in to get desexed on Tuesday.

There were complications with the anesthetic.

He was blind, possibly brain damaged.

SOMETIMES they come right, the vet said, but if he doesn't it is kinder to just put him down. I had to agree, especially as we were getting the cat to catch mice. They don't catch many mice when they are blind.

So we gently told the kids.

The kitten was allergic to some medicine and is very sick. We may have to get another one.

I prayed with the kids, as you do. But I have to admit, I didn't really expect much. It was one abandoned kitten, we haddn't even bonded with it yet.

I rang this morning, expecting to give them the go-ahead to put the little fellow out of his misery.

"completely healed"

The kid's reaction was "well of course, we prayed didn't we!?"

Like I said, I didn't expect the education to quite go this way!

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. " Matt 21:22

Just a Mum....interesting story

JUST A MOM?

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office,
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder,
'do you have a job or are you just a ....?'

'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.

'I'm a Mom.'

'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,'
Said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire..

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,
'just what you do in your field?'

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'
Motherhood!

What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers
'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations'
And great grandmothers
'Executive Senior Research Associates?'
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts '
Associate Research Assistants.

It's not the bad, but the good that traps me.

I don't spend hours on the 'net gambling, looking at internet porn, checking out how to make terrorist bombs. I don't get prescription drugs sent to my door to be consumed or fed to my children. I don't plunge myself in to debt shopping on e-bay and various other stores (tempting though it may be sometimes!) or engage in illicit affairs over chat.

I check out encouraging blogs, do Bible study, Blog myself, research homeschooling, find people who need praying for, keep in touch with family and friends, research home management techniques. All good things! But not great things.

Holding my babies is a great thing, talking to them, reading to them, teaching them, loving them. Keeping a welcoming and loving home for my family is a great thing. Talking to my husband is a great thing!

Good things are, well, good. Until they get in the way of great things.

I have known women who turned their children outside in the cold wearing grubby, days old clothing and nappies near hanging off the little ones - so they could clean house. I have known women who sent their children to another room for weeks on end to pretty much go feral while they researched homeschooling. I have known women who constantly refuse their husbands advances, or even requests for company and conversation, to finish crafts or construct a new home management book. All of these women took pride in being a submissive wife and loving mother and described it as a calling of God. The reality was much different though. The reality was frightening. Good drowning out the great, and becoming bad.

It shocks me how easy it can be to slide down that road.

So right now, I am going to put aside this good thing until tomorrow and help my daughter with her school work.

What great thing will you do today?

Notes from a home schooling Mum

A reaction to some of those comments.




To the lady with the blue jacket and the disapproving tone.
I am glad you enjoyed sending your kids to school.
Your eyes look sad and I wonder how much joy you have had in your life.
I wish you'd enjoyed picking them up as much as you did dropping them off.

To the man with the football beenie and the concerned frown.
I am happy for you that you met your best friends at school.
It sounds like it was a very positive experience for you.
I hope my friends have good mates like you as they grow up.

To the lady with the purple hat and the laugh lines.
Thankyou, I think my children are lovely too!



note: all characters are fictional composites that will be recognised by almost any homeschooling mum!