Here on the other side...

Kaylee came through the surgery with flying colours.

She is sleeping peacefully.

I have already started trying to coordinate the half a dozen professionals who I want to speak to this week.  It will be a challenge to get them up here, but I will do my best.

I need coffee.

I need sleep.

And I need a whole heap of slack right now.

I am so thankful for the people who care about us and who put up with the crusty, abrasive parts of my personality (yes, I do know it is me and not you).  I ask that everyone just holds on for a while longer.  I anticipate a return to humanity in a month or two.  Right now, I am so crazy with busy and finding my feet and being there for my husband and kids I can hardly breathe.  I have had some lovely people try and extend their hand in friendship via the internet when they have read this blog and I am afraid I have not been in a place to grasp that hand right now.  I have some amazing and wonderful friends who are there for me and to be completely candid the thought of trying to bond with new people makes my poor introverted soul feel stretched beyond all reason. 

I maintained this blog with the idea that I would give my family and friends insight into what we were going through, that I would advocate for those in a similar position to us and I would provide a resource for other families going through similar experiences.  I have found it increasingly difficult to balance all those things.  To blog honestly and candidly means saying things that have worried, offended, angered and distressed people who I care about - especially those who recognised themselves on this blog or those who felt I should not feel/act a certain way.  To blog only the sanitary, "nice" bits is to completely short change, if not outright betray, those in a similar position to us.  After a few months of prayer and thought, I have decided to put this blog back on ice.  If I ever to return to writing it will be anonymously so I can be as candid as I like without hurting those I care about - but for the next few months I will be focusing on finding our new normal.  I want to thank, from the bottom of my feet (which is even lower than my heart) everyone who has read this blog, left comments of encouragement and/or whispered a prayer for Kaylee and our family.  We have been blessed abundantly.  I am so blessed I can scarcely comprehend it.

Thank you all.

Jess