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That probably won't mean anything to those of you who DIDN'T grow up watching Mr Squiggle on ABC, but those who did should understand instantly.
Gus was a puppet snail who had a rather over inflated sense of self and a persecution complex. Any time anything didn't go his way he would wail "Unfair to snails!!"
I kinda feel like that at the moment.
For starters:
It has been unseasonably hot. I don't like heat, it makes me cranky at the best of times.
Our water bill has gone up 300% due entirely to a state government let's-mess-around-with-people's-lives spree which also hiked up our power bill significantly. Cranky.
Our new (to us) Suburban dumped it's oil on the highway the other day because a little clip fell off a little hose. Fortunately no long term damage, but our most expensive purchase EVER aside from our house which we saved and scrimped and sacrificed for and bought without a loan or anything is now a very expensive paperweight in the driveway until we get a new little clip thingy. CRANKY!
Then:
There is the little matter of birth choices and human rights being stripped away from women by our current administration which I will just leave there because if I get going there is a whole BLOG in that one. VERY, VERY, CRANKY!
In fact, I think I should just stay away from the news until we have finished the next elections. Unless of course they get voted in again, if that happens I may have to immigrate. Our current government does not do much for the cranky factor at all.
All in all, I am finding it difficult not to stomp about seething at the unfairness of it all. I mean, why ME?
Of course, I KNOW it isn't all just to persecute me (well, most of it isn't just to persecute me, I have a feeling the current government is...)and I KNOW that for every slight I have a million blessings to count, but if anyone were to remind me of this right at this moment, I would pull their bottom lip over their head and cheerfully instruct them to swallow. I'm Cranky.
SO
I can pretend not to be cranky. Paste on a smile and a falsely cheerful voice and talk a lot about my blessings.
OR
I can be cranky. Seethe with anger. Snap surly comments at random people and my family. Have no patience or kindness because the crankyness eats patience and kindness for breakfast. I can reason that this is me and well, I have to be honest and I have to be me because that is me and, well, there's a Disney movie somewhere that told me I should be me I'm sure. And my loved ones? They just have to put up with it and love me and not require anything from me that I am not willing to give 'cause I'm a PERSON and I have RIGHTS. I think there's a chick flick that I can use to back that one up somewhere? Philosophy and human rights celluloid style!
OR PERHAPS
I can take this to His feet. Tell Him how ticked off I am. Use all sorts of useful descriptive language that my children will NEVER hear me use while I am telling Him if I need to. Because it is real. The crankiness. However unjustified and self involved, it's real. And I need to get real with Jesus so He can take me and make me whole. I can tell him honestly I DON'T want to be this way. Righteous anger I can burn with, but the crankiness is not befitting of one of my status. A mother, a wife, a princess. Daughter of the King. I need to put it at His feet, and when I discover it dogging my steps like an unloved stray I need to take it back and give it to Him all over again.
And then I can be a princess rather than a snail with a TV for a shell with a flower pot on top.
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