I want...

I want....
a clean and ordered house.
a devoted and fully equipped school room.
a devoted and fully equipped studio for me to write and sew.
enough time and energy to enjoy all of the above.

I want....
perfectly behaved children.
friendly and faithful children.
literate and learning children.
enough wisdom and discretion to know how to mother them well.

I want....
a perfectly landscaped and productive garden.
room and fences to have a dog.
some ducks in my orchard.
enough energy, knowledge and time to keep all the above well.


Today I have....
a muddled and messy house.
some boxes and shelves stuffed with projects
a computer set up in a corner and a sewing machine behind my chair.
precious little time and less energy.

Today I have....
wonderful, ordinary kids
with all the inherent joys and challenges
knowledge of what I am NOT getting done with them
knees, where I constantly ask for knowledge and wisdom

Today I have....
a work in progress that is rather muddy at the moment!
no fences, no dog
no ducks, no orchard
not enough energy and time to keep them if I had them.

Right now, I am going to work with what I DO have.

And one day, perhaps, what I have and what I want will meet in the middle.

Or better yet,

perhaps one of these days what I want won't matter so much

and what HE wants will become everything.

Lord,

May I be faithful with this that you have given me.
May I work with what I have rather than chasing fantasies.
May I be faithful with this quiet life you have gifted to me.

Amen